21 quotes by Dolly Parton reflecting her personal philosophy

If you’re saddened by the unexpected news of her passing and you’re seeking quotes by Dolly Parton, I’ve collected an interesting selection for you today, dear reader. Specifically, I’ve tried to pick those quotes credited to Dolly that give us an insight into her own personal philosophy.

Dolly Rebecca Parton was undoubtedly one of the great American cultural icons of our age. She was also a successful singer, songwriter, multi-instrumentalist, record producer, actress, author, and businesswoman. She was a smart lady and an excellent example to follow should you be looking for a role model.

Remember, Dolly Parton was born into a poor family, the fourth of 12 children, and so her success was all down to her own effort. No one handed her anything on a plate.

So, if she could do it, so can you, dear reader.

If success is your aim, it always makes sense to look for successful people, see what’s made them successful, and then try to copy it. If it worked for them, then it might just work for you.

So here are 21 quotes by Dolly Parton, which I hope will help you in your quest for wisdom and insight.

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Quotes by Dolly Parton (1 – 10):

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Quotes by Dolly Parton (11 – 21):

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50 of the best quotes of wisdom that’ll make you think

Dear Reader, If you’ve been searching for the best quotes of wisdom, then look no further. Today, I have some real gems for you.

We all need a little inspiration each day, don’t we?

So today I offer you 50 of the best quotes of wisdom to get you thinking.

Enjoy them all. And feel free to share them with your friends.

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best quotes of wisdom
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Best quotes of wisdom (1-10):

  1. Hate is fear’s ugly sister
  2. You can’t argue with stupid
  3. Old ways don’t open new doors
  4. Be humble. You could be wrong
  5. Wisdom is knowing you know nothing
  6. Happiness equals reality minus expectations
  7. We must do what is right and not what is easy
  8. Follow your heart but take your brain with you
  9. No response is a response and a powerful one
  10. Life is a great adventure or it’s nothing at all

Best quotes of wisdom (11-20):

  1. The silent majority is irrelevant
  2. To change your life, change your thinking
  3. If you want respect, you must show respect
  4. You are what you do, not what you say you’ll do
  5. Judge people by their questions, not their answers
  6. A fact is a fact, regardless of whether you believe it
  7. It’s not the years that do the damage; it’s the weekends
  8. What you tell yourself daily will lift you up or bring you down
  9. You can’t judge someone unless you’ve walked two miles in their shoes
  10. The fool does not think he’s wise, but the wise man knows himself to be a fool

Best quotes of wisdom (21-30):

  1. Always have a sense of purpose
  2. Never offer your enemies an open goal
  3. The incentives will dictate the outcome
  4. We are the sum total of our experiences
  5. Not everyone will care as much as you do
  6. Mistakes are simply lessons to be learned
  7. Nothing’s free. For everything, there’s a price
  8. Never give power to people you cannot trust
  9. Defend what matters to you, or you will lose it
  10. The choices we make dictate the quality of our lives
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Best quotes of wisdom (31-40):

  1. Life’s what you make it
  2. You can’t train experience
  3. Never underestimate people’s gullibility
  4. Define who you are, or someone else will
  5. Successful selling starts with warm leads
  6. A bad attitude will never win hearts and minds
  7. Pandering to people’s preferences rarely ends well
  8. We all make a living by selling something to someone
  9. Those who seek to control the language aim to control the debate
  10. There’s no elevator to success. You must climb the stairs, one by one.

Best quotes of wisdom (41-50):

  1. You’re as perfect as anyone else
  2. Don’t be afraid to laugh at yourself
  3. Do more of what makes you happy
  4. Live now, for you’ll be a long time dead
  5. Giving is easy, but taking back is difficult
  6. Enjoy today, for tomorrow is promised to no one.
  7. You can get more money, but you can’t get more time
  8. Just because it looks genuine doesn’t mean it’s not fake
  9. Prepare now, and you’ll be ready when opportunity knocks
  10. People have political power when they have numbers on their side
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If any of these quotes resonate with you, please share this post on social media with your friends.

When you share, everyone wins.

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Thank you for your support, dear reader.

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21 Thought-Provoking Quotes About Life, Success, Money, and Society

Today I am exploring some quotes about life, success, money, and society.

There are some things in life that are worth thinking about. And then there are opinions that make you stop, raise an eyebrow and think, “Actually, there might be something in that.”

The 21 quotes in this collection belong firmly in the second category.

They cover a surprisingly wide range of subjects — from life, ambition and personal responsibility to money, taxation, politics, education and the society in which we live. Some are motivational. Some are deliberately provocative. A few may make you disagree. And that is precisely the point.

A good quote doesn’t have to tell you what to think. Sometimes, its real value is in making you think for yourself.

We live in an age of instant opinions.

Social media has made it incredibly easy to agree with people who share our views and dismiss those who don’t. Political debate can quickly become an argument between opposing tribes, with very little listening taking place in between.

But whether you agree with an idea or strongly disagree with it, there can still be value in considering it.

The quotes that follow explore some fundamental questions.

There are also some uncomfortable questions about money and government. Does taxation create wealth or redistribute it? Is government borrowing simply somebody else’s problem? When politicians describe expenditure as “investment”, what do they really mean? And who ultimately pays the bill?

Some of these observations are intentionally blunt. They aren’t presented as indisputable facts, nor should they be. They are opinions and perspectives intended to stimulate discussion.

And perhaps that’s something of which we could use a little more.

You don’t have to agree with every quote in this collection. In fact, you may strongly disagree with some of them. That’s perfectly fine. The objective isn’t agreement; it’s reflection.

Read them. Think about them. Challenge them. Ask yourself whether they contain a grain of truth — even if the wider argument isn’t one you accept.

Because sometimes the most valuable ideas aren’t the ones that confirm what we already believe.

They’re the ones that make us question it.

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  1. Whether it’s good or bad, your reputation is something you earn.
  2. Wealth is not created through taxation. Excessive taxation destroys wealth.
  3. Life is an endless stream of opportunities there for the taking by those who are fleet-footed and enterprising.
  4. The lives we lead will be dictated by the choices we make. So, we must learn to make good ones.
  5. Write your own obituary, how you’d want to be remembered, and then try to live up to it.
  6. You can have net zero, or you can have a successful economy, but you can’t have both. There’s always a price to be paid.
  7. Argue not with fools. You cannot reason with stupid, so don’t bother trying.
  8. Set and insist on high standards, or the result will be low standards. We’ll get what we tolerate.
  9. The game of life is rigged against ordinary folk. To believe otherwise would be extremely naive.
  10. Modern politics is about performance. A charismatic personality and a clever way with words are what will get a politician elected.
  11. In Britain, every single penny paid in income tax by those who work is paid to those who don’t. That is not sustainable.
  12. History tells us that revolutions don’t help the poor and downtrodden, nor is that the intention. Revolutionaries regard themselves as an elite, and the aim is to replace the existing elite.
  13. If you don’t vote, you can’t complain about the outcome or what the victors choose to implement once they have power.
  14. Government borrowing is a measure of the unwillingness of politicians to balance the budget. However, borrowing isn’t a free ride. The debt must be serviced with interest payments, and, ultimately, it must be repaid. It’s a tax on future generations and a constraint on future governments.
  15. Politicians use the word “investment” when what they really mean is spending money on things that they hope will encourage those who benefit from this spending to vote for them.
  16. Education is about developing the ability to think critically. If young people are being taught what to think rather than how to think, then that’s not an education; it’s indoctrination.
  17. An honest politician would put national interests before party interests, but such a politician is rare indeed.
  18. Embrace change. It will happen anyway, so you might as well see whether it can be of positive benefit to your life.
  19. Failing to call out the unacceptable is to be complicit in allowing the unacceptable to thrive at the expense of the acceptable.
  20. You cannot achieve unless you are willing to try. However, if you try hard, you’ll amaze yourself when you achieve more than you imagined possible.
  21. Propaganda is the art of deceiving the public in such a way that they don’t realise they are being deceived.
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6 High-Income Skills That Can Make More Money Than a Degree

In this article I will explore some skills that can make more money than a degree.

Now, there is nothing wrong with having a degree.

In fact, a good education can open doors, develop confidence, give you specialist knowledge and provide a valuable foundation for a successful career. If you want to become a doctor, lawyer, architect, engineer or accountant, qualifications are obviously important.

But here is something worth thinking about:

That distinction is easy to miss.

We live in a world where academic qualifications are often presented as the passport to success.

From an early age, many of us are encouraged to believe that if we study hard, get good grades, earn a degree and find a respectable job, financial success will naturally follow. Unfortunately, life doesn’t always work that way.

There are highly qualified people struggling financially, while people without university degrees have built enormously successful businesses and accumulated substantial wealth.

Why?

Because money isn’t really a reward for having qualifications:

And once you understand that principle, the whole subject of making money starts to look rather different.

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Now, imagine two people.

The first has an impressive degree from a prestigious university. They have excellent academic credentials, but they struggle to communicate their ideas, dislike selling themselves, avoid negotiation and have no particular ability to solve commercially valuable problems.

The other person left school without a degree but has developed exceptional communication skills, knows how to sell, builds relationships wherever they go and can identify problems that businesses and consumers are willing to pay to have solved.

Who is likely to earn the most money?

There is no guarantee, of course. But the second person has developed skills that can be converted directly into economic value.

And that’s the important distinction:

And the marketplace tends to reward results.

This is why I believe one of the most useful things you can do for your financial future is to stop asking:

“What qualification should I get?”

and start asking:

“What valuable problem could I learn to solve?”

That simple change in thinking can be transformational.

So, here are the six skills.

The word “selling” makes some people uncomfortable.

Perhaps you picture the stereotypical pushy salesperson trying to persuade someone to buy something they don’t really want.

Forget that image.

Every successful business needs sales.

It doesn’t matter whether you’re selling houses, software, holidays, consultancy, advertising, cars, kitchen equipment or your own services. At some point, somebody has to persuade somebody else that the proposed solution is worth paying for.

And that’s why sales is such a powerful skill.

If you can sell, you can create opportunities almost anywhere.

You can sell a product.

You can sell a service.

You can sell an idea.

You can sell yourself in a job interview.

You can persuade a client to work with you.

You can convince an investor to support your business.

You can negotiate a better salary.

You can even sell your vision to other people and persuade them to join you.

The good news is that sales is learnable.

You don’t need to be naturally charismatic. You don’t need to be an extrovert. You don’t need a degree in marketing.

You need to understand people, listen carefully, identify what they need and communicate how you can help.

That is an incredibly valuable combination.

If selling is about persuading people, communication is about helping people understand you.

And communication is arguably one of the most underrated high-income skills.

Think about the people who tend to rise within organisations.

They aren’t necessarily the cleverest people in the room.

They aren’t necessarily the most highly qualified.

But they often have one thing in common:

They can explain complicated ideas simply.

They can write an email that gets a response.

They can give a presentation that holds people’s attention.

They can have difficult conversations without creating unnecessary conflict.

They can listen.

They can ask intelligent questions.

They can make people feel understood.

And, perhaps most importantly, they can make other people trust them.

That last point matters enormously.

People do business with people they trust.

Clients employ people they trust.

Customers buy from people they trust.

Managers promote people they trust.

Investors back people they trust.

So becoming an excellent communicator isn’t simply about speaking beautifully.

It’s about becoming someone who can:

Learn to write well.

Learn to speak clearly.

Learn to listen properly.

Learn to tell stories.

Learn to explain difficult concepts in straightforward language.

Learn how to communicate with different types of people.

These skills can increase your value in virtually every career and business.

The digital economy has created opportunities that previous generations could scarcely have imagined.

You can now build a business from a laptop.

You can sell products to customers on the other side of the world.

You can create content that reaches millions of people.

You can work remotely for companies thousands of miles away.

And you can learn extraordinary skills without necessarily spending years in formal education.

Some particularly valuable digital skills include:

  • Artificial intelligence
  • Coding and software development
  • Copywriting
  • Digital marketing
  • Search engine optimisation
  • Web design
  • Graphic design
  • Video production
  • Data analysis
  • Email marketing
  • Social media marketing

You don’t need to master all of them.

In fact, trying to learn everything can be counterproductive.

Instead, find one skill that interests you and become exceptionally good at it.

Then combine it with another skill.

For example, a person who understands AI + marketing may be considerably more commercially valuable than someone who understands AI but has no idea how to apply it to business.

Someone who combines copywriting + psychology can become a powerful marketer.

Someone with web design + sales can create websites and then sell those services to businesses.

Someone with video production + social media can help companies create content that attracts customers.

This is where things get interesting.

One of the biggest mistakes people make when trying to advance their careers or build businesses is waiting until they need something before contacting people.

They suddenly start networking when they’re looking for a job.

They contact people when they want customers.

They reconnect with old acquaintances when they need an introduction.

That’s backwards.

Your network can introduce you to opportunities you might never discover on your own.

But networking isn’t about collecting hundreds of LinkedIn connections or handing out business cards.

It’s about developing genuine relationships.

Be interested in people.

Ask questions.

Help where you can.

Share useful information.

Introduce people to each other.

Congratulate people on their successes.

Stay in touch.

And don’t immediately ask, “What can you do for me?”

Instead, ask:

Something remarkable happens when you become known as a helpful person.

People remember you.

And when an opportunity eventually appears, your name may be the one that comes to mind.

Your network becomes an asset.

Not because you have deliberately collected contacts, but because you’ve built a reputation for being someone worth knowing.

How much money are you leaving on the table because you’re uncomfortable negotiating?

It could be thousands of pounds over the course of your career.

Perhaps you’ve accepted the first salary offered to you.

Maybe you’ve quoted a price for your services and immediately discounted it because you were worried the customer would say no.

Perhaps you’ve agreed to unfavourable business terms because you didn’t want to appear difficult.

Negotiation doesn’t have to be confrontational.

In fact, the best negotiators aren’t necessarily aggressive.

They’re prepared.

They understand their value.

They know what the other person wants.

They understand their alternatives.

And they’re prepared to have a conversation.

Learning to negotiate can affect your salary, business profits, contracts, fees, property purchases and countless other financial decisions.

Sometimes, earning more money doesn’t require you to work harder.

It requires you to become better at asking for the value you’ve already created.

That’s a powerful lesson.

This may be the most important skill of all.

If you want to increase your earning potential, look for problems that are expensive, frustrating, urgent or difficult to solve.

Why?

Because people pay more to solve valuable problems.

Think about it.

If you can save someone five minutes, that’s useful.

If you can save them five hours, that’s more valuable.

If you can save a business £10,000, your skill suddenly becomes considerably more valuable.

If you can help a company generate £100,000 in additional revenue, the potential value becomes even greater.

This doesn’t mean you have to be a genius.

It means you need to understand the relationship between the problem and the value of the solution.

And this is where my personal philosophy about money comes in.

I don’t believe that making money is primarily about qualifications.

I believe it is about adding value to other people’s lives.

The greater the value you can create, the greater your potential earning power.

That value might come from saving someone time.

It might come from making something easier.

It might come from reducing stress.

It might come from increasing someone’s income.

It might come from entertaining people.

It might come from teaching them something.

It might come from solving a problem they’ve been struggling with for years.

Or it might simply make someone’s life a little better.

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Stop chasing money. Start chasing value.

Here’s the paradox.

If you spend all your time thinking about how to make money, you can easily become obsessed with money itself.

You start looking for shortcuts.

The latest side hustle.

The latest investment scheme.

The latest “get rich quick” opportunity.

The latest online guru promising financial freedom in 30 days.

But there’s a better question.

Instead of asking:

“How can I make more money?”

ask:

“How can I become more valuable?”

That changes everything.

What can you learn?

What problems can you solve?

Who can you help?

What can you make easier?

What can you make faster?

What can you make better?

What can you teach?

What can you create?

What can you sell?

What can you improve?

These questions lead you towards opportunities.

And you don’t necessarily need another qualification to answer them.

Sometimes you need experience.

Sometimes you need curiosity.

Sometimes you need courage.

Sometimes you need persistence.

Sometimes you simply need to be willing to learn something that other people haven’t bothered to learn.

Phil Sutton

You don’t need permission to become valuable:

Perhaps the most encouraging thing about this philosophy is that you don’t have to wait for somebody to give you permission.

You don’t need to wait for a university place.

You don’t need to wait for a promotion.

You don’t need to wait for a manager to recognise your potential.

You can start developing valuable skills today.

Read.

Watch.

Experiment.

Practice.

Talk to people.

Start a small project.

Offer to help someone.

Learn how businesses work.

Learn how customers think.

Learn how to communicate.

Learn how to sell.

Learn how to negotiate.

Learn how to use modern technology.

And, most importantly:

You will make mistakes.

That’s inevitable.

But mistakes are often part of the price of becoming competent.

You don’t become valuable by knowing everything.

You become valuable by continually improving your ability to solve problems.

A degree isn’t the end of the story, and neither is not having one:

If you have a degree, don’t feel that this article is somehow telling you that your qualification doesn’t matter.

It does.

Education can be tremendously valuable.

A degree can provide knowledge, credibility and access to opportunities that might otherwise be difficult to obtain.

But it is only one part of the equation.

And if you don’t have a degree, don’t assume that you’ve somehow missed the boat.

You haven’t.

Life is an endless stream of opportunities there to be seized by the fleet-footed.

The modern economy rewards people who can create value.

Your starting point might be different, but the opportunity to learn valuable skills is enormous.

Perhaps you’ve got years of experience that you haven’t recognised as an asset.

Perhaps you’re brilliant with people.

Perhaps you’re an outstanding organiser.

Perhaps you’re good at fixing things.

Perhaps you’re creative.

Perhaps you understand technology.

Perhaps you can write.

Perhaps you can persuade.

Perhaps you’re fantastic at finding solutions.

Perhaps you simply understand a particular problem better than most people.

The question is whether you can turn it into something that helps other people.

The six skills that can change your financial future:

If I had to reduce the entire message to six simple principles, they would be these:

1. Learn to sell.
Because the ability to communicate value creates opportunities.

2. Master communication.
Because people trust people who can explain, listen and connect.

3. Develop high-income digital skills.
Because technology has dramatically increased the number of ways you can create value.

4. Build relationships before you need them.
Because opportunities frequently come through people.

5. Learn to negotiate.
Because creating value is only half the equation; you also need to understand how to capture a fair share of that value.

6. Solve expensive problems.
Because the bigger and more valuable the problem you can solve, the greater your potential economic value.

Put those six skills together and you have something far more powerful than a list of fashionable career tips.

You have a philosophy for building a more financially rewarding life.

Your most valuable asset is you:

Ultimately, the most important investment you can make isn’t necessarily in a degree, a property, a share portfolio or a business.

It’s in yourself.

Develop skills.

Develop confidence.

Develop relationships.

Develop curiosity.

Develop resilience.

Develop the ability to see opportunities where other people see problems.

And never stop learning.

Because the world doesn’t necessarily reward the person with the most qualifications.

It rewards people who can create something that other people value.

That is an incredibly liberating idea.

You don’t have to be the smartest person in the room.

You don’t have to have attended the best university.

You don’t have to have a string of letters after your name.

You simply need to become good at something that matters to someone else.

And then become better at it.

Then better again.

Then learn how to communicate its value.

Learn how to sell it.

Learn how to negotiate.

Build relationships.

Solve bigger problems.

And keep going.

Because your earning potential isn’t necessarily determined by where you started.

And that is something you can start working on today.

Someone you know may be worrying that they don’t have the right qualifications, the right connections or the right background to succeed financially.

Perhaps they simply need to hear a different message.

Learn a skill.

Solve a problem.

Help somebody.

Create value.

And see where it takes you.

If you found this article useful, please share it on Pinterest, Facebook, LinkedIn, X or with someone who needs to read it today.

You never know whose life you might change simply by passing it on.

Thank you.

5 short funny stories for adults looking for a smile

Here are five short funny stories for adults looking for a smile today. They all made me laugh, and I hope they make you laugh, too.

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Short funny stories for adults:

1. The nudist beach:

Three men were visiting a nudist beach, and it wasn’t long before they were engaged in conversation. Two of the men looked very happy to be there, whilst the other man looked a little glum.

Naturally, their conversation quickly gravitated to a discussion about their respective jobs.

I work on Wall Street,” said the first man, smiling. “It’s well-paid work, but the dress code is very formal, and I have to wear a suit with a collar and tie daily. So this is a perfect vacation for me. I have the freedom to relax, feeling completely unrestrained.

The second man smiled and said, “I’m with you there, buddy. I’m a deep-sea diver, and I’m usually weighed down with a diver’s suit, lead boots, and a brass helmet. Being here on this beach is real freedom for me.

The two men then looked at their unhappy companion and asked what he did for a living.

I’m a pickpocket,” said the man, “and my therapist said I’d benefit from a holiday where I won’t have the opportunity to steal from people.

2. The real deal:

An Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman are sitting in a bar in Benidorm debating the merits of their favourite bars back home.

In my local pub in London,” says the Englishman, “if I buy two pints of lager, I get the third pint for free. Now that’s a decent deal, you must admit.”

That’s nothing!” says the Scotsman. “In the pub I go to in Glasgow, if I buy two double whiskies, they’ll give me the third double whisky for free. That’s got to be an even better deal, surely?

Listen, boys,” the Irishman responds, “in my local pub in Dublin, if you buy five pints of Guinness, they’ll not only give you the sixth pint for free, but if you go upstairs, you can have s** for free too.”

The Englishman and the Scotsman look at each other quizzically before the Englishman says, “Really? Has that happened to you?

Well, no,” says the Irishman, “but it happens to my sister all the time.”

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3. Crossing the raging river:

Jim, Bill, and Mike are three friends out walking in the countryside when they arrive at a wide and raging river.

Naturally, they need to get across, but they have no idea how to cross successfully.

Jim, being a believer in the good Lord, immediately prays to God. “Please, God, give me the strength to cross this raging river.

Suddenly, there’s a POOF sound, and Jim’s arms and legs are transformed into powerful limbs that allow him to swim across the river in less than an hour.

Seeing this, Bill decides to pray too. “Please, God, give me the strength and ability to cross this raging river in a way easier than swimming.”

Suddenly, there’s a POOF sound, and there before Bill is a kayak, which allows him to row across the river in less than 30 minutes.

Having witnessed events so far and seeing how it works, Mike decides to pray too. “Please, God, give me the strength, ability, and intelligence to cross this raging river in the easiest way possible.”

Suddenly, there’s a POOF sound, and Mike is turned into a woman. She checks her map, walks 100 yards along the riverbank, and walks across the bridge.

4. Stranger in town:

The journey on horseback from Waco to Fort Worth is a long ride along a dusty trail, and for any cowboy, it’s thirsty work.

So when George passed through a small town along the way, he decided to stop at the saloon for a cold beer to quench his thirst.

Well, the locals were none too friendly to strangers passing through their town, and George could sense a negative vibe immediately as he tied up his horse to the post before walking through the saloon doors.

When he’d finished his beer, George walked outside, and he was none too happy to discover that someone had stolen his horse.

So he walked back into the bar, drew his gun from its holster, spun it around his finger in an impressive fashion, and then shot a bullet straight through a whisky bottle standing at the other end of the long bar.

The place went silent, and you could hear a pin drop, until George shouted, “Now which one of you sidewinders stole my horse?

No one said anything. The place was deadly quiet.

George shouted menacingly, “Now you listen to me! I’m gonna sit here and have another beer, and if my horse ain’t back outside by the time I’ve finished my drink, then I’m gonna do what I dun in Waco. And I don’t want to have to do what I dun in Waco.

The locals shifted nervously in their seats. They didn’t like strangers much, but they liked trouble even less.

So when George had finished his beer, he looked outside, and sure enough, there was his horse tied to the post and waiting for him.

George saddled up and then started to ride slowly along Main Street.

The bartender had wandered outside and stood and watched George go.

Hey partner,” said the bartender, “so what happened in Waco?

George smiled and said, “I had to walk home!

Phil Sutton

5. The Adoption Agency:

A married couple, Jim and Josephine, owned their own circus, and one day they walked into an adoption agency.

Naturally, they explained their circumstances to the social worker.

The social worker looked a little puzzled. “Are you sure that a travelling circus is the best environment in which to bring up a young child?” he asked. “I mean, all those dangerous animals and constantly being on the road?

The animals are all well trained,” Josephine responded, “and we have a state-of-the-art, sixty-foot motor home, with every comfort necessary.

But how would you educate the child?” asked the social worker.

We’ve arranged a tutor,” said Jim. “He’ll teach all the regular academic subjects, as well as Spanish and computer programming.

And we’ll have a nanny,” Josephine added quickly. “She’s certified in pediatric care, child welfare, and nutrition.

The social worker had listened carefully, and he was impressed.

Well, you do seem like an ideal couple,” he said. “What age of child did you have in mind?

It doesn’t matter,” said Jim, “as long as they’re small enough to fit in the cannon.”

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So dear reader, did you find these short funny stories for adults as amusing as you’d hoped? Certainly, I hope they all made you laugh.

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5 funny short stories for seniors that’ll raise a smile

Here are five funny short stories for seniors that should raise a smile or two. They all made me laugh, and I hope they brighten your day too.

Please feel free to share them with your friends on social media.

FUNNY SHORT STORIES FOR SENIORS
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Funny Short Stories for Seniors:

1. Fading memories:

An elderly couple, George and Mildred, began to notice that they were getting increasingly forgetful in their old age. Naturally, they thought it might be a good idea to discuss the problem with their doctor.

The doctor reassured them that this was quite a common experience for people as they got older, and he suggested that they should start writing things down to help them remember.

When they got home, Mildred asked George to get her a bowl of ice cream from the kitchen refrigerator.

Should I write that down for you, George?” she said.

No, Mildred. I’m sure I’ll remember a bowl of ice cream,” George responded.

OK, George,” said Mildred, “but I want some whipped cream with my ice cream, too. Should I write that down?

No,” said George. “I’ll remember. You want a bowl of ice cream with whipped cream.

George, I’d love a cherry on top too,” said Mildred. “Should I write that down?

No, I got it,” said George. “You want a bowl of ice cream with whipped cream and a cherry on top.”

So George disappears into the kitchen to get the ice cream, and he then spends an unusually long time there before returning about 40 minutes later.

He returns to the living room and hands Mildred a plate of eggs and bacon.

Mildred stares at the plate momentarily, and then she looks at George.

Where’s the toast?” she asks.

2. Pronunciation problem:

Jeff and Mary, a middle-aged couple, are driving through Louisiana when they come to the small city of Natchitoches.

Neither of them had ever been there before, and they started arguing about how the city’s name is pronounced.

Needless to say, both of them thought they knew best, and they kept on bickering until eventually, they decided to stop for lunch.

At the counter, Jeff smiled at the pretty, young waitress and said, “Mam, before we order, could you help us settle an argument, please?

The young waitress smiled and said, “Sure! How can I help you, honey?

Could you please pronounce where we are right now, very slowly?” said Jeff.

The young waitress leaned over the counter, smiled and said, “Yes, sir! It’s Burrr-gerrr Kiiing.

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3. Cash withdrawal:

A guy goes into his bank and withdraws $5,000 cash in $20 bills.

The teller counts out the cash in front of him and then wraps a rubber band around the cash bundle before she hands it to him.

He quickly stuffs the wad of cash in his pocket before leaving the bank in a hurry.

When he reaches his car, he puts his hand in his pocket to grab the cash, but it’s not there. He hadn’t been close enough to anyone for his pocket to have been picked, so he realised the cash must have fallen through a hole in his jacket.

All he can do is retrace his steps.

He gets back to his bank, and there’s an elderly lady on the street who says to him, “Sir, did you lose some cash bound with a rubber band?

Why yes, mam, I did,” says the guy. “Have you found it?

Well,” said the lady, “I’ve found the rubber band.”

4. Rules of engagement:

Mack and Mabel are an elderly couple who’ve been courting for over forty years.

Finally, they decided it was about time they got married.

However, first, they decided it was important to agree on how their marriage relationship would work.

So, they had a series of discussions on income, finances, cooking, cleaning, bedroom arrangements, and everything else that would affect them both in the years ahead.

Finally, Mack thought it was important to discuss how the physical side of their relationship would work.

How do you feel about s**, Mabel?” asked Mack.

Well,” said Mabel, choosing her words carefully, “I would like it infrequently.

Mack thought about it momentarily and then asked, “Was that one word or two, Mabel?

Phil Sutton

5. Bill’s quest:

Bill was driving down a remote country road one day. He’s in the middle of nowhere, a long way from home, when, as luck would have it, his car breaks down near a monastery.

So Bill walks over to the monastery and knocks on the door.

The door is opened by one of the monks, and Bill explains his predicament.

I’m sorry to bother you,” says Bill, “but I’m a long way from home, my car’s broken down, and I can’t get a repairman today because it’s Sunday. Would it be possible for me to stay the night here at the monastery?

The monks graciously accept Bill, and they’re happy for him to spend the night there. He’s invited to have dinner with them, and as they’re very resourceful, they even fix his car for him.

After Bill has retired to his room for the night, and as he’s trying to fall asleep, he hears a strange but seductive sound.

It’s a sound, unlike anything he’s ever heard before.

It’s a sound so seductive that Bill is reminded of the Sirens of Greek mythology, who lured sailors with their enchanting music and singing voices to shipwreck on the rocky coast.

Well, Bill cannot sleep that night thinking about what he’s just heard. He tosses and turns, trying to figure out what could possibly be making such a strange but seductive sound.

As you’d expect, at breakfast, Bill feels compelled to ask the monks about the sound he’d heard during the night.

The Abbot, sitting at the head of the table, smiles benevolently at Bill and responds to his question by saying, “Unfortunately, we cannot tell you because you’re not a monk.”

Bill is disappointed by this response, but he thanks the monks for their hospitality, and, having finished breakfast, he leaves the monastery.

However, the matter doesn’t end there.

Bill cannot forget the hypnotic allure of this beautiful, seductive sound. So, a year later, he just has to go back to the monastery and plead with the monks to tell him more about this strange sound.

Once again, the response from the Abbot is, “Unfortunately, we cannot tell you because you’re not a monk.”

Bill is desperate, so he says to the Abbot, “Look, if the only way I can find out what is making that beautiful sound is to become a monk, then please, make me a monk.”

Before you can join our monastery,” says the Abbot, “you must travel the earth and tell us how many blades of grass there are in total and the exact number of grains of sand there are, too. When you’ve found the answers to these questions, only then will you be ready to become a monk.

Bill realises it won’t be easy, but he sets about his task to become a monk.

Years later, he’s now getting old, but Bill is back knocking on the door of the monastery.

The door is answered, and Bill is taken to the Abbot.

In my quest to find what makes that beautiful sound, I’ve travelled the earth as you requested,” says Bill. “Reflecting on the questions you asked me to answer, I’ve come to realise that the world is in a state of perpetual change. Only God knows what you ask. All a man can know is himself, and only then if he is honest and reflective and willing to strip away self-deception.

Congratulations!” says the Abbot. “You’re now ready to become a monk and join our monastery.

Can I now know the mystery of the sacred sound?” asks Bill.

Indeed, you can,” the Abbot responds. “Follow me.

The Abbot then leads Bill down a long, dark corridor, at the end of which is an old wooden door.

The source of the sound is beyond this door,” says the Abbot, as he hands Bill a key.

Bill then opens the door, only to find that behind it is another door made of stone.

The Abbot hands Bill another key, and he opens it, only to find yet another door, this time one that is encrusted with emeralds.

Well, the process goes on and Bill finds a series of doors, encrusted with various precious gems, including pearls, sapphires, rubies and diamonds. He’s given keys for each, and he opens each one.

Finally, Bill reaches a door that is made of solid gold.

He can now hear the strange and seductive sound clearly as the Abbot hands him the final key.

This is the last key to the last door,” says the Abbot. “On the other side of this door is the source of the sound that has enchanted you so much, for so long.”

Bill is feeling a little apprehensive at this point, after all, the answer he’s been seeking for so long is behind this door.

With trembling hands, Bill unlocks the door, turns the knob, and pushes the door open, slowly.

He falls to his knees in amazement, as he finally discovers the source of that haunting, seductive and beautiful sound.

And what is the source?

Unfortunately, we cannot tell you because you’re not a monk.

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Please share this post with your friends:

So dear reader, did you find these funny short stories for seniors as amusing as you’d hoped? Certainly, I hope they all made you laugh.

Perhaps you’d like some more laughs? If so, please click on the links below.

And if you did enjoy this post, then please share it with your friends on social media. When you share, everyone’s a winner?

Your support is truly appreciated.

Thank you.

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25 very corny jokes that’ll cheer you up guaranteed

If you’ve been searching for some very corny jokes, this article is for you, dear reader.

Life can be stressful for everyone, so we all must laugh every day.

To help you with that, I’ve been collecting some more very corny jokes. These all made me smile, and I hope they will make you smile too.

Unfortunately, despite best efforts, it hasn’t been possible to identify the original authors of these very corny jokes, so for the moment they remain ‘Author Unknown.’

However, if you’re able to help with that, do let me know. My aim always is to acknowledge the work of others whenever possible.

So here they are, 25 very corny jokes that will cheer you up, guaranteed.

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VERY CORNY JOKES
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Very Corny Jokes:

1. What do you call a midget psychic who just escaped from prison?

A small medium at large.

2. What’s the difference between a cat and a complex sentence?

A cat has claws at the end of its paws. A complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause.

3. What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball against each other?

Juan on Juan.

4. Why did the jaguar eat the tightrope walker?

It was craving a well-balanced meal.

5. What did the big bucket say to the smaller one?

You’re looking a little pail.

6. What did one hat say to the other?

You stay here and I’ll go on ahead.

7. How does a duck buy lipstick?

She just puts it on her bill.

8. What do you do when you see a spaceman?

Park your car, man.

9. What do you do with epileptic lettuce?

Make a seizure salad.

10. Why was the poor guy selling yeast?

To raise some dough.

11. Who does a pharaoh talk to when he’s sad?

His mummy.

12. How much does a pirate pay for corn?

A buccaneer.

13. How did Darth Vader know what Luke got him for Christmas?

He could feel his presents.

14. I just wrote a book on reverse psychology.

Do not read it!

15. Why can’t you trust an atom?

Because they make up literally everything.

16. What does a grape say after it’s stepped on?

Nothing. It just lets out a little wine.

17. What happens when a frog’s car breaks down?

It gets toad away.

18. How come oysters never donate to charity?

Because they’re shellfish.

19. Why did the pig leave the party early?

Because everyone thought he was a boar.

20. Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pencil?

Because there’s no point.

21. A man got hit in the head with a can of Coke.

Thank goodness it was a soft drink.

22. Did you hear about the dog that loved eating garlic?

His bark was much worse than his bite.

23. What has four legs and flies?

A dead horse.

24. What’s the difference between a businessman and a warm dog?

The businessman wears a suit, the dog just pants.

25. What kind of monkey can fly?

A hot air baboon.

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Share the fun, and everyone wins.

Put a smile on someone else’s face, and you’ve done your good deed for the day. So go on, please share this post now.

And if you fancy some more laughs, then click on the links below. You’ll find plenty to make you smile.

I appreciate your support. Thank you.

Phil Sutton

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33 short sharp quotes to get you thinking

If short, sharp quotes are what you’re looking for today, here are 33 that I am confident you will like, dear reader.

Enjoy them all, and please feel free to share them.

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short sharp quotes
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Short Sharp Quotes (1-20):

  1. Never complain; never explain.
  2. Troubled waters make skilled sailors.
  3. Mistakes are just lessons to be learned.
  4. You’re never too old to do something stupid.
  5. Yes, I have a sleep disorder. It’s known as children.
  6. We live in the era of smartphones and stupid people.
  7. No response is a response, and a powerful one too.
  8. To understand politics, you must read between the lies.
  9. You can’t change the past, but you can shape the future.
  10. Sometimes you’ve got to be smart enough to play stupid.
  11. If you want to change your life, change the way you think.
  12. Life’s hard for everyone, but it’s even harder if you’re stupid.
  13. Wouldn’t it be great if everything were as easy as getting fat?
  14. One good friend is worth infinitely more than 1,000 fake ones.
  15. Some people serve as examples, while others serve as a warning.
  16. Test my patience if you must, but I must warn you, I’m negative.
  17. Don’t waste your words on people who deserve only your silence.
  18. On Spaceship Earth, we’re all crew. We all have a contribution to make.
  19. It’s not who you are that holds you back. It’s who you think you’re not.
  20. If it’s not right, don’t do it. If you can’t be sure it’s true, don’t say it.
Phil Sutton

Short Sharp Quotes (21-33):

  1. You can’t argue with a closed mind and a fixed point of view. So, don’t try.
  2. If you have a problem with me, then cry me a river and drown yourself in it.
  3. Being wise is not hard. Think of something stupid to say, and then don’t say it.
  4. Knowledge is like underwear. Nice to have, but showing it off is rarely a good idea.
  5. We’re all prisoners of the mobile phone. That’s why they’re known as cell phones.
  6. Watch what they do, not what they say. Talk is cheap. Results are everything.
  7. You’re not the dumbest person on the planet. However, you’d better hope he doesn’t die.
  8. Never confuse the people who are always around you with the people who are always there for you.
  9. We must learn from the mistakes of others. None of us will live long enough to make every mistake ourselves.
  10. Words spoken in anger tell you a lot about what people think. They offer a glimpse behind the mask.
  11. We come from dust, and we return to dust. So it’s probably best not to dust. It might be someone you know.
  12. Some people are only meant to be there for a single chapter of your life. Not everyone will be a constant in your story.
  13. Evaluate the people in your life, then eliminate any that are a negative influence on you. It’s your life, and you decide.
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31 Quotes by Walt Disney to inspire you

Today, I am exploring quotes by Walt Disney.

Walter Elias Disney, or Walt Disney, as he’s better known, was an American entrepreneur, animator, writer, voice actor, and film producer.

Born in Chicago in 1901, he pioneered the animation industry and introduced several developments in the production of cartoons.

As a film producer, Walt Disney holds the record for the most Academy Awards earned and nominations by an individual, having won 22 Oscars from 59 nominations.

His record is phenomenal, and he introduced us to some of the best-loved cartoon and film characters of all time. We shouldn’t forget the wonderful Disney theme parks that have given millions so much pleasure over the years.

By any measure, he was a successful man. And it’s always worth listening to successful people.

So here are 31 quotes by Walt Disney to inspire you.

Quotes-by-Walt-Disney
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Quotes by Walt Disney (1-10):

  1. Disneyland is a show.
  2. I believe in being an innovator.
  3. If you can dream it, you can do it.
  4. It’s kind of fun to do the impossible.
  5. We allow no geniuses around our Studio.
  6. Laughter is America’s most important export.
  7. A man should never neglect his family for business.
  8. You reach a point where you don’t work for money.
  9. The way to get started is to quit talking and begin doing.
  10. When you’re curious, you find lots of interesting things to do.
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Quotes by Walt Disney (11-20):

  1. Disneyland is the star; everything else is in the supporting role.
  2. I do not like to repeat successes. I like to go on to other things.
  3. All our dreams can come true if we have the courage to pursue them.
  4. You’re dead if you aim only for kids. Adults are only kids grown up, anyway.
  5. We are not trying to entertain the critics. I’ll take my chances with the public.
  6. The more you like yourself, the less you are like anyone else, which makes you unique.
  7. I am not influenced by the techniques or fashions of any other motion picture company.
  8. Disneyland is a work of love. We didn’t go into Disneyland just with the idea of making money.
  9. I have been up against tough competition all my life. I wouldn’t know how to get along without it.
  10. Whenever I go on a ride, I’m always thinking of what’s wrong with the thing and how it can be improved.
Phil Sutton

Quotes by Walt Disney (21-31):

  1. Disneyland will never be completed. It will continue to grow as long as there is imagination left in the world.
  2. Of all of our inventions for mass communication, pictures still speak the most universally understood language.
  3. Times and conditions change so rapidly that we must keep our aim constantly focused on the future.
  4. I always like to look on the optimistic side of life, but I am realistic enough to know that life is a complex matter.
  5. Crowded classrooms and half-day sessions are a tragic waste of our greatest national resource, the minds of our children.
  6. You can design, create and build the most wonderful place in the world. But it takes people to make the dream a reality.
  7. I would rather entertain and hope that people learned something than educate people and hope they were entertained.
  8. I have no use for people who throw their weight around as celebrities, or for those who fawn over you just because you are famous.
  9. We keep moving forward, opening new doors, and doing new things, because we’re curious and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths.
  10. Our heritage and ideals, our code and standards – the things we live by and teach our children – are preserved or diminished by how freely we exchange ideas and feelings.
  11. All the adversity I’ve had in my life, all my troubles and obstacles have strengthened me. You may not realize it when it happens, but a kick in the teeth may be the best thing in the world for you.
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Please share this post with your friends on social media because when you share, everyone wins.

If you could share this post now, I would be forever grateful.

Like every blogger, I can only keep doing what I do if readers are viewing my blog posts. So you really can help me, dear reader.

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How to make the most of your future

How to make the most of your future? A question we all ask ourselves occasionally, I’m sure.

We worry about the future because increasingly the world seems such an uncertain place. There are times when it seems completely crazy.

In many ways, the future is uncertain, but then again, it’s a lot more predictable than you might think.

I’m often asked what I think the next 10 years will be like. The answer’s simple; the next 10 years will be pretty much like the last 10 years and the years before that, I think.

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Phil Sutton

Future years:

Think about it. The next 10 years will just be a constant stream of challenges with a lot of problems to be solved.

That’s how life’s always been, surely? And that’s good news for us all. Why?

It’s good news because it’ll ensure that there’s a constant stream of opportunities for enterprising people to exploit.

So we can all make a good living, and all we have to do is focus on those problems we can solve for other people.

Yes, jobs may be in short supply, but there’ll always be plenty of customers with problems to be solved. Customers for goods and services yet to be invented.

If we can all learn to look for customers rather than jobs and make sure we have the skills and know-how to solve problems for those customers, we’ll always have work, and from that, over time, we can build wealth too.

The nature of work:

Opportunities will always be there, and we can choose to take them or not. For the fleet-footed, there will always be opportunities to make money, regardless of politics and political personalities.

Create your own future:

Find customers you can serve, serve them well, and you’ll always do well.

And it doesn’t matter whether you were successful or otherwise at school either. That’s irrelevant. There are plenty of successful and wealthy people who failed to shine at school.

Skills can be learned and knowledge can be gained at any time in your life.

So look around for people you can help, improve your knowledge and skills as you go along, and gradually enhance your earning ability. It can be done; people do, and you can too.

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Today’s assignment:

So let me finish with an assignment for you.

Look around for a problem to be solved. Look carefully, and you’ll find plenty of them, I promise you.

Now, who’s the potential customer? What skills will you need if you are to solve that problem for the customer? And once you’ve identified those skills, how will you get them, and by when?

Now think about this assignment carefully.

By applying your unique talents and know-how, whose problems could you solve? To whom could you be an answer to their prayers?

This is how business people think.

How to make the most of your future:

The future’s as bright as you want to make it for yourself. It’s all down to you.

Don’t just let life happen to you.

Start right now and make it happen.

Create a future that’s right for you. Decide where you’re going, set some goals, and start taking action.

Don’t just accept whatever life throws at you; go out and get all the things you want.

Other people do, and so can you. Go on, get started, now!

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So please share it now. If you do, I’ll be forever grateful, and you’ll be helping a keen blogger reach a wider audience.

Thank you.

Phil Sutton

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