Billy Connolly yog ib tug neeg tso dag uas tsis hwm leej twg, nws muaj lub siab ntse thiab txawj piav dab neeg zoo heev.
Feem ntau hu ua The Big Yin, nws txoj kev koom tes rau kev lom zem nrov, tshwj xeeb tshaj yog hauv tebchaws Askiv, tau loj heev rau 40 xyoo dhau los.
Nws pib ua haujlwm ua tus welder hauv Glasgow shipyards thiab tau hloov mus ua haujlwm ua tus hu nkauj hauv zej zog, pib nrog Gerry Rafferty thiab tom qab ntawd ua tus kws kos duab ib leeg.
Los ntawm qhov ntawd, nws maj mam pom nws qhov kev hu xov tooj, uas yog ua rau peb txhua tus luag thiab txhawb peb. Thiab ntawm no, nws excel.
Los ntawm nws txoj haujlwm ua tus neeg hu nkauj, nws tau nthuav dav nws txoj kev nyiam los ntawm kev ua yeeb yam thiab nthuav tawm. Raws li kev lees paub ntawm nws qhov kev ua tiav thiab nws txoj haujlwm pub dawb, tam sim no nws yog Sir William Connolly, CBE.
Billy Connolly yog ib tug piv txwv zoo heev ntawm ib tus neeg uas, los ntawm kev nrhiav tau qee yam uas nws nyiam thiab ua tau zoo, tau ua tiav zoo heev.
Yog li hnub no, cov nyeem ntawv zoo, kuv muab 15 zaj lus lom zem heev los ntawm Billy Connolly kom koj nco ntsoov tias nws txawj ntse npaum li cas. Txaus siab rau lawv txhua tus.
Funny one-liners los ntawm Billy Connolly:
- Tsis txhob tso siab rau tus txiv neej uas, thaum nyob ib leeg hauv chav nrog tshuaj yej cosy, tsis sim nws. ~Billy sib tham
- Kev sib yuav yog ib qho kev tsim zoo heev. Tom qab ntawd dua, yog li yog ib qho khoom siv kho tsheb kauj vab. ~Billy sib tham
- Kuv lub ntsiab lus ntawm kev txawj ntse yog ib tus neeg uas tuaj yeem mloog William Qhia Overture yam tsis xav txog Lone Ranger. ~Billy sib tham
- Leej twg pom tias peb tuaj yeem tau mis nyuj los ntawm nyuj, thiab nws xav tias nws ua dab tsi thaum lub sijhawm? ~Billy sib tham
- Kuv ib txwm xav mus rau Switzerland kom pom dab tsi cov tub rog ua nrog cov riam liab liab. ~Billy sib tham
- Kuv tsis paub vim li cas kuv yuav tsum tau kawm algebra. Kuv yeej tsis zoo li yuav mus qhov ntawd. ~Billy sib tham
- Yog tias Yexus yog ib tug neeg Yudais, ua li cas nws thiaj muaj lub npe Mev? ~Billy sib tham
- Coob leej ntau tus hais tias nws tsis muaj cov lus uas ua rau koj cog lus. Rubbish. Kuv paub ntau txhiab lo lus, tab sis kuv tseem nyiam f ***. ~Billy sib tham
- Dab tsi ib txwm staggers kuv yog tias thaum tib neeg tshuab lawv lub qhov ntswg, lawv ib txwm saib rau hauv lawv cov hankies kom pom dab tsi tuaj. Lawv xav nrhiav dab tsi? ~Billy sib tham
- Thaum tib neeg hais tias, 'Nws ib txwm yog qhov chaw kawg uas koj saib, ”. Tau kawg, nws yog. Vim li cas koj thiaj li nrhiav tom qab koj pom nws? ~Billy sib tham
- Thaum ib yam dab tsi yog 'tshiab thiab txhim kho!' uas yog nws? Yog tias nws yog qhov tshiab, ces yeej tsis tau muaj dab tsi ua ntej nws. Yog tias nws yog kev txhim kho, ces yuav tsum muaj qee yam ua ntej nws. ~Billy sib tham
- Vim li cas tibneeg thiaj hais tias, 'Auj, koj xav tau koj lub ncuav mog qab zib thiab noj nws thiab?' Tuag txoj cai! Lub ncuav qab zib zoo li cas yog tias koj noj tsis tau? ~Billy sib tham
- Ib tug noog nyob rau hauv tes invariably sh *** ntawm koj dab teg. ~Billy sib tham
- Thaum koj tab tom tos tsheb npav thiab ib tug neeg nug, 'Lub npav puas tuaj?' Yog lub npav tuaj, kuv puas yuav sawv ntawm no? ~Billy sib tham
- Kuv cov lus qhia rau koj yog tias koj xav kom poob phaus me ntsis: tsis txhob noj dab tsi los hauv lub thoob. Cov thoob yog cov khoom siv hauv tsev ua liaj ua teb. ~Billy sib tham
Thov qhia qhov no rau koj cov phooj ywg:
Cov lus tso dag no los ntawm Billy Connolly puas ua rau koj luag ntxhi?
Kuv vam tias. Txawm li cas los xij, koj yuav muaj kev luag ntau ntxiv yog tias koj nyem qhov txuas hauv qab no.
Thiab yog tias koj nyiam qhov koj tau nyeem, thov qhia rau koj cov phooj ywg hauv social media.
Thaum koj qhia, txhua tus yeej.
Nws yog ib lub tswv yim zoo kom dhau mus rau qhov luag nyav.
Yog tias koj tuaj yeem qhia tam sim no, kuv yuav ua tsaug mus ib txhis. Koj yuav tau pab tus wannabe blogger mus cuag cov neeg tuaj saib dav dua.
Koj qhov kev txhawb nqa tau txais txiaj ntsig zoo, nyob zoo cov neeg nyeem. Ua tsaug.
Cov ntawv koj yuav nyiam:
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