25 brilliant one-liner quotes that’ll raise a smile

brilliant one-liner quotesHere are 25 brilliant one-liner quotes guaranteed to raise a smile. I loved them all and I’m confident you will too. Enjoy!

Brilliant one-liner quotes:

  1. Everything’s difficult before it’s easy.
  2. I do all my own stunts but never intentionally.
  3. Don’t trust children. They’re here to replace us.
  4. Your secret’s safe with me. I wasn’t even listening.
  5. If only we could invoice people for wasting our time.
  6. I’m going to stop putting things off, starting tomorrow.
  7. Work is just something I’m doing until I win the lottery.
  8. Sarcasm is just punching people in the face with words.
  9. The road to success has so many tempting parking spaces.
  10. You never know what you’ve got until you clean your room.
  11. Be like the postage stamp. Stick to a thing until you get there.
  12. I intended to behave but there were so many other options.
  13. If Cinderella’s shoe was such a perfect fit, why did it fall off?
  14. Nothing messes up your Friday like realizing it’s only Tuesday.
  15. Reality is the leading cause of stress for those in touch with it.
  16. Revenge sounds so mean. I prefer to call it returning the favour.
  17. They say nothing’s impossible but I’ve been doing nothing all day.
  18. I’m still waiting for the wisdom I was assured would come with age.
  19. If one door opens when another closes, your house is probably haunted.
  20. You know it’s time to move on when the best part of your job is a chair that swivels.
  21. If you want your children to listen to you, try talking in a very low voice to someone else.
  22. If you’re going to get into trouble for hitting someone, you might as well hit them hard.
  23. People who can’t find time for rest and recreation will be forced to make time for illness, sooner or later.
  24. All I’m saying officer is that if you caught me then you must have been speeding too and no one is above the law.
  25. When you get angry take a deep breath and count to 10. Then throw a punch at 8. Nobody expects that.

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19 Best Homer Simpson quotes that’ll make you smile

Best Homer Simpson quotes

Image by Alan Nakkash

These have got to be 19 of the very best Homer Simpson quotes and I’m confident they’ll raise a smile or two with readers. Homer’s take on life is always witty and very funny.

I love the Simpsons and, in particular, Homer Simpson’s philosophy on life never fails to get me laughing out loud. So today I thought I’d take a look back at some of his most memorable quotes.

If you like the Simpsons, I’m sure you will enjoy looking back at Homer’s words of wisdom.

Enjoy them all.

Best Homer Simpson quotes:

  1. Trying is the first step toward failure.
  2. Operator! Give me the number for 911!
  3. If he’s so smart, how come he’s dead?
  4. I never apologize. I’m sorry but that’s the way I am.
  5. Marge, you know it’s rude to talk when my mouth is full.
  6. Stupidity got us into this mess, and stupidity will get us out.
  7. If I could say a few words, I would be a better public speaker.
  8. Kids, just because I don’t care doesn’t mean I’m not listening.
  9. I’ll make the money by selling one of my livers. I can get by with one.
  10. The problem in the world today is communication; too much communication.
  11. It’s so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and then don’t say it.
  12. I thought I had an appetite for destruction, but all I wanted was a club sandwich.
  13. If God didn’t want me to eat chicken in church, then he would have made gluttony a sin.
  14. I’ve learned that life is one crushing defeat after another until you just wish Flanders was dead.
  15. Volunteering is for suckers. Did you know that volunteers don’t even get paid for the stuff they do?
  16. Weaseling out of things is important to learn; it’s what separates us from the animals; except the weasel.
  17. Kids are great. You can teach them to hate what you hate and, with the Internet and all, they practically raise themselves.
  18. Marge, try to understand. There are two types of college students, jocks and nerds. As a jock, it is my duty to give nerds a hard time.
  19. I want to share something with you: The three little sentences that will get you through life. Number 1: Cover for me. Number 2: Oh, good idea, Boss! Number 3: It was like that when I got here.

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55 funny quotes about money to make you smile

Money, that’s what I want! And so does everyone else.

It’s a modern obsession. We like to think that it doesn’t matter, but it does. We cannot get far without at least some of it in the modern world.

We all talk about money, and we’re constantly chasing value for money. This is natural, of course, because our lifestyle, such as it is, depends on the money we have and the money we earn.

However, there’s a slightly absurd and amusing side to it all too. So I thought I’d search out some quotes to explore the funny side of money.

Here are 55 funny quotes about money that made me smile and I hope they brighten your day too.

Funny quotes about money (1-20):

Funny quotes about money (21-40):

Funny quotes about money (41-55):

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15 quotes about fear to help you put it into perspective

quotes about fearWhat is fear? A simple question you might think but fear is an emotion that’s often misunderstood. So today, dear reader, let’s explore some quotes about fear to put it into perspective.

Sometimes we can be paralysed by fear and yet it’s only the body’s natural mechanism for heightening our sense of awareness in times of potential danger.

Fear sharpens our sense of the risks involved in given situations. By definition, risk is the possibility of an outcome we really don’t want.

However, risk and reward have a direct correlation. No risk; no reward.

Yes, by taking a risk, you might end up with an undesirable outcome but equally, you might just achieve a desirable prize too.

Our sense of fear should make us tread carefully of course but it shouldn’t stop us from treading at all. It’s all about weighing up the percentages and taking a sensible approach to any given situation.

In short, avoiding unnecessary risks but taking calculated risks.

If we are to be successful, we must face up to our fear. We must recognize the reason for our fear but that fear should not control us. We should control the fear. As the saying goes, we should feel the fear but do it anyway.

So I say to you, never let fear stop you from having a go. The alternative would be to look back with regret at what might have been. And who wants that?

It’s better to be someone who can look themselves in the eye and know they’ve always given life their best shot regardless of how they were feeling at the time.

Here are 15 quotes about fear to help you put fear into perspective.

Quotes about fear (1-10):

  1. Fear is the mother of foresight. ~Thomas Hardy
  2. I say I am stronger than fear. ~Malala Yousafzai
  3. Fears are nothing more than a state of mind. ~Napoleon Hill
  4. Always do what you are afraid to do. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
  5. The only thing we have to fear is fear itself. ~Franklin D. Roosevelt
  6. Thinking will not overcome fear but action will. ~ Clement Stone
  7. Only when we are no longer afraid do we begin to live. ~Dorothy Thompson
  8. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. The fearful are caught as often as the bold. ~Helen Keller
  9. The oldest and strongest emotion of mankind is fear, and the oldest and strongest kind of fear is fear of the unknown. ~H.P. Lovecraft
  10. I have learned over the years that when one’s mind is made up, this diminishes fear; knowing what must be done does away with fear. ~Rosa Parks

quotes about fearQuotes about fear (11-15):

  1. America was not built on fear. America was built on courage, imagination and an unbeatable determination to do the job at hand. ~Harry S Truman
  2. I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear. ~Nelson Mandela
  3. You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, ‘I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.’ ~Eleanor Roosevelt
  4. A lot of people live in fear because they haven’t figured out how you’re going to react when faced with a certain set of circumstances. I’ve come to terms with this by looking deeply into whatever makes me fearful – what are the key elements that get the hairs up on the back of my neck – and then figuring out what I can do about it. ~Chris Hadfield
  5. I’ve learned that fear limits you and your vision. It serves as blinders to what may be just a few steps down the road for you. The journey is valuable, but believing in your talents, your abilities, and your self-worth can empower you to walk down an even brighter path. Transforming fear into freedom – how great is that? ~Soledad O’Brien

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25 powerful quotes to help you reflect on life and its meaning

powerful quotes to help you reflect on life and its meaningLife is for living and we live it just once. If we put off until someday those things on our bucket list then we’ll never experience them at all because someday never comes. Sadly, that’s a fact.

In your old age, your memories will not revolve around the size of your house or the model of the car you had. Your memories will be of the people you knew and the experiences you had and how they all made you feel.

Family and friends matter more than material possessions and no experience is worth foregoing for the sake of an extra couple of years in a care home at the end of our lives.

Always remember that nothing matters more to you than your loved ones and friends. Jobs and careers won’t look after you when you’re ill, infirm or old. So, get your priorities right.

Work hard of course and pursue your dreams too. However, don’t trade money and material possessions for a life well-lived. That would be a poor trade and one you’ll regret.

Here are 25 powerful quotes to help you reflect on life and its meaning.

Powerful quotes to help you reflect on life and its meaning (1-15):

  1. We live in a rainbow of chaos. ~Paul Cezanne
  2. Every man dies. Not every man really lives. ~William Wallace
  3. Into each life, some rain must fall. ~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
  4. Life is simple, but we insist on making it complicated. ~Confucius
  5. We don’t remember days, we remember moments. ~Cesare Pavese
  6. He who has a why to live can bear almost any how. ~Friedrich Nietzsche
  7. Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you hold well. ~Josh Billings
  8. The most important thing is to enjoy your life – to be happy – it’s all that matters. ~Audrey Hepburn
  9. The true secret of happiness lies in taking a genuine interest in all the details of daily life. ~William Morris
  10. Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment. ~Buddha
  11. Life is a dream for the wise, a game for the fool, a comedy for the rich, and a tragedy for the poor. ~Sholom Aleichem
  12. Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can’t help them, at least don’t hurt them. ~Dalai Lama
  13. The truth is you don’t know what is going to happen tomorrow. Life is a crazy ride, and nothing is guaranteed. ~Eminem
  14. Nothing in life is to be feared, it is only to be understood. Now is the time to understand more, so that we may fear less. ~Marie Curie
  15. When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, ‘I used everything you gave me’. ~Erma Bombeck

Powerful quotes to help you reflect on life and its meaning (16-20):

  1. One of the most tragic things I know about human nature is that all of us tend to put off living. We are all dreaming of some magical rose garden over the horizon – instead of enjoying the roses blooming outside our windows today. ~Dale Carnegie
  2. Each day is a new canvas to paint upon. Make sure your picture is full of life and happiness, and at the end of the day you don’t look at it and wish you had painted something different. ~Author Unknown
  3. All meaningful and lasting change starts first in your imagination and then works its way out. Imagination is more important than knowledge. ~Albert Einstein
  4. 20 years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbour. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover. ~Mark Twain
  5. At the end of your life, you will never regret not having passed one more test, not winning one more verdict, or not closing one more deal. You will regret time not spent with a husband, a friend, a child, or a parent. ~Barbara Bush

Powerful quotes to help you reflect on life and its meaning (21-25):

  1. Being vulnerable doesn’t have to be threatening. Just have the courage to be sincere, open and honest. This opens the door to deeper communication all around. It creates self-empowerment and the kind of connections with others we all want in life. Speaking from the heart frees us from the secrets that burden us. These secrets are what make us sick or fearful. Speaking truth helps you get clarity on your real heart directives. ~Sara Paddison
  2. Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I’m going to be happy in it. ~Groucho Marx
  3. Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could; some blunders and absurdities have crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; you shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
  4. The best things in life are nearest: Breath in your nostrils, light in your eyes, flowers at your feet, duties at your hand, the path of right just before you. Then do not grasp at the stars, but do life’s plain, common work as it comes, certain that daily duties and daily bread are the sweetest things in life. ~Robert Louis Stevenson
  5. The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing in the right place but to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment. ~Lady Dorothy Nevill

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21 things you need to know in life to avoid its pitfalls

things you need to know in lifeThere are a lot of things you need to know about life, dear reader. In fact, there are far too many for a single blog post, of course. So today, let’s just focus on 21 things that I think are important.

So, I offer you 21 quotes that I think reflect those things you definitely need to know about life.

I hope you find them useful and interesting.

And please feel free to share them.

Things You Need To Know In Life (1-11):

  1. You don’t decide your future. You make choices and your choices decide your future. So you’d better learn to make good choices.
  2. Falling down happens to everyone. Staying down is the problem. So get up, dust yourself off, and try again.
  3. Success is enjoying what you do, whilst having sufficient money to live your preferred lifestyle comfortably.
  4. Remaining loyal to the circumstances into which you were born is not a noble act. It’s perfectly reasonable to want more from life. Just because you were born poor doesn’t mean you have to remain poor.
  5. If the world is to be a better place then we should focus on that which we have in common, not that which separates us.
  6. As long as we’re not hurting anyone else, how we choose to live our lives is no one’s business but our own.
  7. There’s no such thing as easy money. Any suggestion to the contrary will be a scam and you’ll get burned if you’re unwise enough to get involved.
  8. If something cannot be subjected to scrutiny and criticism then it’s probably not a good idea in the first place.
  9. Never believe that you cannot be fooled, because we can all be a little gullible, occasionally. That’s what scammers rely on. So, be on your guard.
  10. If your job can be done from anywhere, then someone anywhere can do your job. So, when companies are looking to save money, to increase their profits, what do you think they’ll do?
  11. We have to deal with life as it is and not how we like it to be. We must protect ourselves and our interests because no one else will do it for us.

Things You Need To Know In Life (12 – 21):

  1. Get to know and be inspired by people who fit the future you want. Don’t allow those from your past to limit your ambition.
  2. If we view the world through the prism of media headlines, it can only ever be a depressing place. Avoid the media and suddenly everything seems much brighter.
  3. With gambling, there’s only one winner consistently and that’s the casino. That’s why they’re in business.
  4. A promotion at work is not a reward for what you’ve done in the past it’s the opportunity to show what you can do in the future.
  5. If we don’t expect much from people then we won’t get much from people. Low expectations lead to poor results. Expect more to get more. Leadership is about getting the best out of people, not going soft on them.
  6. We’ll keep making the same mistake until we learn the lesson the mistake was intended to teach us. Life’s a classroom and the lessons never stop.
  7. Your years on this earth will teach you far more than you could possibly learn in any university or college of further education.
  8. If you’re with the wrong person, the sooner you let them go, the sooner you’ll have a chance of finding the right person.
  9. It matters not that you are rich, famous and important. What matters is how you treat other people, especially those who can do nothing for you.
  10. Celebrity pronouncements via social media might look like they’re sharing insight into their lives. They’re not. They’re simply promoting their brand and whatever it is they’re selling. Their aim is to carefully construct a hip and edgy image. In short, it’s fake.

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The importance of teaching children about money

Teaching Children About MoneyThe importance of teaching children about money is not something that’s taken as seriously as it should be, in my opinion.

Certainly not in the education system. As far as I can see, financial education for children and young adults is rarely covered within the education system at all. It wasn’t when I was young and it isn’t now.

Some might say that money’s not the most important thing in life and philosophically that may be true.

However, money’s up there with oxygen and water when it comes to sustaining human life. In the modern age, life revolves around money, whether we like it or not.

Money’s a measure of the value we add to the lives of others and it’s also the oil that lubricates human existence.

Without money, living would be virtually impossible for almost everyone today.

1. The point of teaching children:

The point of teaching children is to prepare them for adult life, surely?

Our aim should be to equip them with everything they need to know, so they can function effectively as adults once they leave the education system.

Now reading, writing and arithmetic are all essential subjects, of course, because you can’t get too far in the world of work without these basic skills. And it’s through work that we really add value and maximise our income.

Nevertheless, where I believe the education system generally fails children and young people is the omission of the teaching of essential life skills, like earning an income and managing money. Important subjects like money and personal finance are never covered at all, certainly not in any significant way.

2. Money and personal finance:

To me, it’s surprising that we don’t teach our children about money or personal finance in their formative years.

Surely whilst at school, children should learn about:-

          • The way money is earned;
          • The way to manage money;
          • How to budget, so they can pay their bills; and
          • How to spend their money wisely.

Children should also learn about how they should prioritize expenditure to avoid getting themselves into a financial mess, in my opinion.

3. The pros and cons of debt:

Personally, I think that children and young adults should learn about the pros and cons of debt.

They should learn about the difference between secured and unsecured debt, given the impact these factors will have on the interest rates that will be applied to such debt.

Young people should learn about the power of compound interest too. Not so much as a mathematical exercise but in terms of how it can quickly turn a relatively small debt into a very large debt if we’re not careful.

And they should also learn to appreciate that credit cards are not just a convenient means for cashless payment.

Used thoughtlessly, credit cards can result in personal wealth destruction and excessive levels of expensive debt.

Children and young people should know that credit cards are a form of unsecured debt, which means they come with very high rates of interest, which accelerate a personal debt mountain rapidly, if not paid off immediately once the bill arrives at the month-end.

4. Interest rates matter:

Everyone should know that interest rates really do matter. They’re very significant and shouldn’t be treated lightly.

Children and young adults should learn that they should never go into debt for the purchase of discretionary items. It’s always better that they save up for that discretionary purchase before they buy, of course.

5. The nature of work:

Every young person should learn about how work is just doing stuff for other people in exchange for money and that the more value they can add through their skills and know-how, the more they’ll earn throughout their life. So skills matter too.

Everyone should be taught about the economics of supply and demand and their impact on pricing.

Kids should understand the difference between trading their time with one employer for a wage and the opportunity to serve multiple customers through their own business and their own creativity.

If they have the ability to create products which solve problems for customers, then they have the potential to make a lot of money.

Essentially kids should learn to appreciate the difference between employment and self-employment.

6. The road to financial freedom:

Young people should learn about wealth, pensions and how to achieve financial freedom through putting money aside on a regular basis and investing it wisely.

They should be positively encouraged to work towards achieving financial freedom.

Once they’re financially free they can focus on doing things they enjoy doing rather than things they have to do, because they’ve no other choice.

If nothing else, this makes the goal of achieving financial freedom a worthy aim, in my opinion.

7. The impact 0f inflation, taxation and government borrowing:

Kids should learn about the impact that inflation will have on the value of their money and how this can affect their savings, particularly in old age. They should also be taught about risk and its relationship with reward.

They should learn about taxes and how the money they pay in taxes will be spent, and frequently squandered by the government.

Everyone should know that there’s no such thing as government money, only taxpayer’s money. Our money!

Children and young people should know that it’ll be their hard-earned money that’s being spent by the government.

They should also know that when governments borrow money this is simply a means for spending today and then passing the bill on to future generations. In other words, our children and grandchildren, and indeed their children, will pay the bill for today’s government borrowing. Potentially, future generations could be impoverished by excessive government borrowing today.

Government borrowing is not a free lunch. Someone eventually must bear the interest payments in future years, as well as the repayment of the original capital sum that was borrowed. And don’t forget, governments are borrowing money continually.

8. Holding government to account:

Children should be taught to question how their money is being spent by the government and how to register their disapproval if they’re not happy with what’s being done with that money, in their name.

9. Money matters:

teach children about moneySadly most people have little real understanding of money, which means that they’re easily conned by sharp business practices, particularly in Financial Services, and by politicians driven only by their own self-interest.

Perhaps that’s why schools are not encouraged to teach personal finance as a subject.

Parents should demand that their children are taught about money, in my opinion.

If the education system fails children by not teaching them important life skills then, as parents, we must shoulder at least some of the blame, surely?

And as always, we’ll get what we tolerate.

For me, teaching children and young people about money is an issue for the education system, as much as it is for parents themselves.

Money really does matter and, in my opinion, we fail children and young people if we don’t provide them with the know-how and skills to make the most of it throughout their lives.

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The secret to being a successful entrepreneur

The secret to being a successful entrepreneurHow often do you hear people say they’d love to start a business and become entrepreneurs?

People will tell you they’d love to be a business success, making a difference in people’s lives with great products and services.

Then they’ll add the caveat that, unfortunately, the time’s not right for them now. They’ll have a go one day, but their circumstances won’t allow it now.

However, very few who say they’ll have a go will ever actually have a go. They don’t have the desire and they probably don’t understand the secret to being a successful entrepreneur anyway.

The only way to get rich:

The measure of success for an entrepreneur is the money they make.

Let’s face it, starting any business is all about making money for the owners. Otherwise, why would anyone bother?

Starting your own business can be a fantastic thing to do, and, for most people, it’s the only way you’ll ever have the chance to make some serious money.

Certainly, you’re unlikely to get seriously rich working for someone else.

However, to succeed in business, you must first get started.

The critical ingredient to success in business is getting off your butt and doing something about it.

And the best time to do it is now. Last year or the year before might have been better, but otherwise, now is always the best possible time. It’s simple, really.

The secret to making money:

Getting off your butt is one thing, but how do you make money as an entrepreneur? Well, dear reader, pull up a chair and listen carefully, for the secret is very simple.

The secret to making money as an entrepreneur is to solve problems for people. To make their lives easier in some way.

Solve problems; make money:

Every product you sell must solve a problem for the customer.

So if you can identify problems for which people need solutions and if you can offer those solutions, otherwise known as products, at value-for-money prices, then you can make money and you can be successful.

Remember this too; you don’t necessarily have to be the first with a solution either. If you can improve on an existing solution in some way then you can still make some serious money. If you can ‘build a better mousetrap‘ then people will buy it.

For instance, Steve Jobs and Apple were not the first to offer cellular mobile phone handsets, and neither were Samsung. Yet these two companies both dominate the market for smartphones right now.

The secret to being a successful entrepreneurMake a difference:

Has your appetite for business been whetted, dear reader?

Do you have any ideas you think might make a difference?

You do?

Then you have to be prepared to take action. Having ideas means nothing unless you take action.

Ideas are ten-a-penny. Plenty of people have good ideas that never see the light of day.

Occasionally, people will have good ideas but leave them all too long, and then someone else comes along with the same idea and makes serious money from it. That’s happened to me. I came up with a great idea for a t-shirt slogan. I failed to act, and someone else came along with the same idea, and it’s currently a best seller on Amazon. My loss; their gain.

Having ideas is easy. Implementation is the hard part, and there are too few people with the drive and determination to turn a good idea into a business opportunity and then make money from it.

So you must take action if you want to be a successful entrepreneur.

Not tomorrow; not next week; not next year; but right now.

Become a ‘doer’:

In my experience, true entrepreneurs are doers; they’re not dreamers.

So go on, get started right now.

Solve people’s problems, and you’ll be on the road to riches. It can be done and people do. And so can you! Go for it.

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15 exceptional quotes to get you thinking

Today I have some of what I consider to be exceptional quotes just for you, dear reader. These are quotes that I’m confident will make you think.

Quotes are always inspiring and thought-provoking, so take a few moments to appreciate them all.

And please pass them on.

Exceptional Quotes:

  1. If passion drives you, let reason hold the reins. ~Benjamin Franklin
  2. The two most powerful warriors are patience and time. So remember: great achievements take time, there is no overnight success. ~Leo Tolstoy
  3. If you are going to succeed then you have to do what you do exceptionally well. In other words, better than everyone else. ~Roy Sutton
  4. If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got. ~Albert Einstein
  5. The bad news is that time flies. The good news is that you are the pilot. ~Michael Althsuler
  6. You would not worry over what people think about you, did you but realise how rarely they do. ~Augustine Teasdale
  7. What will matter in the end is not what you bought but what you built; not what you got but what you gave; not what you learned but what you taught. What will matter is not your competence but your character. ~Michael Josephson
  8. You can’t cross the sea merely by standing and staring at the water. ~R. Tagore
  9. You are afraid to die, and you’re afraid to live. What a way to exist. ~Neale Donald Walsch
  10. The capacity to care is what gives life its most deepest significance. ~Pablo Casals
  11. Do more than belong: participate. Do more than care: help. Do more than believe: practice. Do more than be fair: be kind. Do more than forgive: forget. Do more than dream: work. ~William Arthur Ward
  12. When we love, we always strive to become better than we are. When we strive to become better than we are, everything around us becomes better too. ~Paulo Coelho
  13. Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up. ~Thomas Edison
  14. We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them. ~Albert Einstein
  15. Knowing what you want will make you happy. But knowing what you are good at will make you successful. ~Rob Yeung

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21 Del Boy quotes for fans of Only Fools and Horses

Fans of the British television sitcom Only Fools and Horses really do love its lead character, the irrepressible Derek ‘Del Boy’ Trotter, played by the brilliant actor David Jason. So today I’ve put together a series of some memorable Del Boy quotes that I’m confident fans will love.

If you’re not familiar with the sitcom Only Fools and Horses, I can recommend the many clips you’ll find on YouTube. They’re all very funny.

So take a look at them all when you can but not before you’ve taken a few minutes to enjoy all these memorable Del Boy quotes first. If you’re a loyal fan you’ll love them all, I’m sure.

Del Boy Quotes:

  1. You plonker, Rodney!
  2. Lovely jubbly!
  3. He who dares wins!
  4. You know it makes sense.
  5. I’m a black belt in origami.
  6. This time next year we’ll be millionaires!
  7. They’re yuppies. They don’t speak proper English like what we do.
  8. Rodney, everything between you and I is split straight down the middle: 60-40.
  9. It’s a well-known fact that 90 per cent of all foreign tourists come from abroad.
  10. You can’t trust the Old Bill, can ya? Look at that time they planted six gas cookers in my bedroom.
  11. You’ve always been the same, even at school. Nothing but books, learning, education. That’s why you’re no good at snooker.
  12. As Macbeth said to Hamlet in A Midsummer Night’s Dream, ‘We’ve been done up like a couple of kippers.’
  13. Asking a Trotter if he knows anything about chandeliers is like asking Mr Kipling if he knows anything about cakes.
  14. Not only have you managed to sink every battleship and aircraft carrier that you’ve ever sailed on, but now you’ve gone and knackered a gravy boat.
  15. There’s no point in running away. Running away only wears out your shoes.
  16. She used to say, ‘It’s better to know you’ve lost than not to know you’ve won.’ Dear old Mum, she used to say some bloody stupid things.
  17. One of my most favourites meals is Duck à l’Orange, but I don’t know how to say that in French.
  18. If you had been in charge of The Last Supper it would have been a takeaway.
  19. I got a Persian rug with more food on it than a menu.
  20. It’s the toughest chicken I’ve ever known. It’s asked me for a fight in the car park twice.
  21. No chance of this happening with Rodney, is there? World War Three! This plonker can’t even get Channel Three!

Del Boy Quotes French:

Fans of this series will know that some of Del Boy’s most memorable quotes are his attempts to display his mastery of the French language. Needless to say, he had no mastery of French, but his attempts at it were very funny.

So here are six of Del Boy’s best French phrases with a note on what he actually meant when he used them:-

  1. Pot Pourri! (By which Del Boy meant: ‘I don’t believe it!’)
  2. Au contraire! (By which Del Boy meant: ‘Hang on a minute!)
  3. Bain-marie! (By which Del Boy meant: ‘No problem!)
  4. Bonnet de douche! (By which Del Boy meant: Excellent!)
  5. Chateauneuf du Pape! (By which Del Boy meant: ‘It’s all gone crazy!’)
  6. Creme de la Menthe! (By which Del Boy meant: ‘The very best.’)

Honourable Mentions:

Whilst this post was intended to pay tribute to Del Boy and his many memorable lines in the show, I think it would be remiss of me not to include some honourable mentions of classic lines from other characters.

So here are three that make me smile every time I hear them:-

  1. He died a couple of years before I was born. ~Colin ‘Trigger’ Ball talking about his father.
  2. We might go out, get to know each other a bit, you know. Might like each other, then who knows? In time maybe she might do some ironing for me. ~Denzil Tulser talking about a potential date.
  3. Derek, will you get it into your thick skull, I’m not trying to meet intelligent and sensitive people, I’m happy with you. ~Raquel Turner, in reference to Del Boy’s jealous nature.

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You did? I hope so anyway.

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