30 of the best puns guaranteed to make you laugh


I love a clever pun. Here are 30 of the best puns I’ve heard for a long time. I cannot be sure of there origin but they are guaranteed to make you laugh. Certainly they made me laugh and I really hope they brighten your day too.

  1. Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
  2. A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now seasoned veteran.
  3. Atheists can’t solve exponential equations because they don’t believe in higher powers.
  4. I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
  5. A girl said she recognised me from my vegetarian club but I’d never met herbivore.
  6. I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
  7. The Energiser Bunny has been arrested and charged with battery.
  8. What’s the difference between a poorly dressed man on a bicycle and a nicely dressed man on a tricycle? A tire.
  9. I didn’t like my beard at first but it grew on me.
  10. What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
  11. Did you hear about the man who jumped off a bridge in France? He was in Sein.
  12. When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.
  13. What does the clock do when it’s hungry? It goes back four seconds.
  14. I dreamt I wrote Lord of the Rings but I think I was just Tolkien in my sleep.
  15. Thanks for explaining the word “many” to me, it means a lot.
  16. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
  17. I ordered 2000 lbs. of Chinese soup. It was Won Ton.
  18. With great reflexes comes great response ability.
  19. Did you hear about the guy who got fired from the calendar factory for taking a day off?
  20. Why do the French eat snails? They don’t like fast food.
  21. A courtroom artist was arrested today for an unknown reason. Details are sketchy.
  22. Don’t make jokes about unemployed people. They don’t work.
  23. My computer’s got Miley Virus. It has stopped twerking.
  24. My boss told me to have a good day. So I went home.
  25. What is the best thing about living in Switzerland? Well, the flag is a big plus.
  26. The best time to open a gift is the present.
  27. Why did the picture end up in jail? It was framed!
  28. I used to build stairs for a living but it’s an up and down business.
  29. Did you hear about the Italian chef with a terminal illness? He pastaway.
  30. What happens if you eat yeast and shoe polish? Every morning you’ll rise and shine!

Please share the fun:

I hope these puns made you laugh dear reader. However perhaps you feel that you could use another laugh? If so click on the links below. You’ll find plenty of smiles to amuse you.

And if you’ve enjoyed what you’ve read here then please share these jokes with all  your friends on social media. When you share, everyone wins. It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

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© Roy J Sutton and Mann Island Media Limited 2018. All Rights Reserved.


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