21 thought-provoking quotes about anxiety


As human beings we struggle to deal with uncertainty because it makes us feel insecure. It’s important to recognise that one of the most fundamental human needs is the need to feel secure.

If we feel insecure we cannot relax because we are on ‘high alert’ all the time to guard against any perceived dangers or undesirable outcomes. This can seriously drain our energy and leave us feeling nervous and low.

Anxiety is a consequence of dealing with uncertainty. It’s the resulting stress on our central nervous system. It’s a deep sense of unease which sufferers experience in relation to something which for whatever reason really bothers them.

Feeling anxious in times of uncertainty is quite natural. Yet it can be difficult to cope with for the sufferer because in the extreme they can experience panic attacks, a heightened sense of nervousness and excessive unease.

These feelings may cause physical symptoms, such as a fast heart rate and shakiness. So it can be an altogether unpleasant experience for the sufferer and not one to be underestimated in terms of the impact it can have on the individual.

Here are 21 thought-provoking quotes about anxiety to help readers better understand how the sufferer is affected.

Quotes about anxiety:

  1. Anxiety does not empty tomorrow of its sorrows but only empties today of its strength. ~Charles Spurgeon
  2. It is very hard to explain to people who have never known serious depression or anxiety the sheer continuous intensity of it. There is no off switch. ~Matt Haig
  3. There isn’t anybody out there who doesn’t have a mental health issue, whether it’s depression, anxiety, or how to cope with relationships. Having OCD is not an embarrassment anymore – for me. Just know that there is help and your life could be better if you go out and seek the help. ~Howie Mandel
  4. People talk about physical fitness, but mental health is equally important. I see people suffering, and their families feel a sense of shame about it, which doesn’t help. One needs support and understanding. I am now working on an initiative to create awareness about anxiety and depression and help people. ~Deepika Padukone
  5. We all have anxiety about things. We all have little insecurities, but eventually you have to face your fears if you want to be successful, and everybody has some fear of failure. ~Nick Saban
  6. Anxiety is love’s greatest killer. It makes others feel as you might when a drowning man holds on to you. You want to save him, but you know he will strangle you with his panic. ~Anais Nin
  7. The truth is that there is no actual stress or anxiety in the world; it’s your thoughts that create these false beliefs. You can’t package stress, touch it, or see it. There are only people engaged in stressful thinking. ~Wayne Dyer
  8. Everyone needs a reset button so you can start your day without anxiety. For some people, it’s running; for some, it’s going to the gym. For me, it’s meditation. ~Matt Bomer
  9. People tend to dwell more on negative things than on good things. So the mind then becomes obsessed with negative things, with judgments, guilt and anxiety produced by thoughts about the future and so on. ~Eckhart Tolle
  10. Happiness is not a brilliant climax to years of grim struggle and anxiety. It is a long succession of little decisions simply to be happy in the moment. ~J. Donald Walters
  11. Physical comforts cannot subdue mental suffering, and if we look closely, we can see that those who have many possessions are not necessarily happy. In fact, being wealthy often brings even more anxiety. ~Dalai Lama
  12. People who fail to use their emotional intelligence skills are more likely to turn to other, less effective means of managing their mood. They are twice as likely to experience anxiety, depression, substance abuse, and even thoughts of suicide. ~Travis Bradberry
  13. The act of birth is the first experience of anxiety and thus the source and prototype of the effect of anxiety. ~Sigmund Freud
  14. For as long as I can remember I have suffered from a deep feeling of anxiety which I have tried to express in my art. ~Edvard Munch
  15. I was about to meet Beyonce and I had a full-blown anxiety attack. Then she popped in looking gorgeous and said, ‘You’re amazing! When I listen to you I feel like I’m listening to God.’ ~Adele
  16. You need to let go of your fear and anxiety of being judged by others. ~Gavin Newsom
  17. I think one thing is that anybody who’s had to contend with mental illness – whether it’s depression, bipolar illness or severe anxiety, whatever – actually has a fair amount of resilience in the sense that they’ve had to deal with suffering already, personal suffering. ~Kay Redfield Jamison
  18. The other thing is that if you rely solely on medication to manage depression or anxiety, for example, you have done nothing to train the mind, so that when you come off the medication, you are just as vulnerable to a relapse as though you had never taken the medication. ~Daniel Goleman
  19. Anxiety is a really crippling condition, and I suffer with it myself, and I feel for anyone who suffers from it. The way that I deal with it is try as much as possible to stay in the moment to not think about the past and not think about what’s coming up in the future: to try and just seize the moment as much as possible. ~James Arthur
  20. Unfortunately, I think depression and anxiety are really hard to live with. And what people don’t need is to feel bad about themselves because they decide to go on medication. ~Rene Russo
  21. This is an anxiety driven world – the whole world is driven by anxiety. It is anxiety about the aftermath of the global financial crisis; it’s anxiety about inequality and about computers replacing jobs. ~Robert J. Shiller

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Do it now and I’ll be ever so grateful.

If you have any thoughts to share about anxiety then your comments would be welcome. Readers would love to read your ideas about anxiety and how to cope with it.

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© Roy J Sutton and Mann Island Media Limited 2018. All Rights Reserved.

11 funny quotes about marriage guaranteed to make you smile

A successful marriage can be your greatest investment. It can almost become your biggest nightmare.

Choose your partner wisely and a successful relationship can be yours; fail to choose carefully and it could prove to be painful for all concerned.

Sharing your life with someone else can be a challenge because, as human beings, we’re complex creatures with an ego and a desire to have our own way.

Once married, we often try to continue to live our lives as if we were individuals and we forget that there is at least one other person we must consider, and more if there are children involved.

However recognising a need to compromise and being willing to compromise is not quite the same thing. It takes constant effort but sadly it’s effort that not everyone is willing to expend.

And so there has been much been said in jest about marriage and such comments often underpin a lot of great humour.

Here are eleven very funny quotes about marriage which are guaranteed to raise a smile. If you’re married, or if you’ve been married then you’ll be able to relate to many of these quotes; so enjoy them all.

Funny quotes about marriage:

  1. My wife and I have been married for 47 years and not once have we had an argument serious enough to consider divorce. Murder, yes, but divorce, never. ~Jack Benny
  2. If you’re wrong and you shut up, you’re wise. If you’re right and you shut up, you’re married. ~Author Unknown
  3. Listening to your wife is like reading the Terms & Conditions on a website. You understand nothing but you still say, “I agree!” ~Author Unknown
  4. Before marrying someone, you should first make them use a computer with a very slow Internet connection. That way you’ll know who they really are. ~Author Unknown
  5. Marriage Tip #46: Your wife won’t start an argument with you if you’re cleaning. ~Author Unknown
  6. I’ve been married for 20 years but I still carry my husband’s photo in my purse. That way, whenever I face great difficulty, I can look at the photo and remind myself that if I’ve coped with being married to this idiot for so long, I can survive anything. ~Author Unknown
  7. Never laugh at your wife’s choices. After all, you’re one of them. ~Author Unknown
  8. A husband is someone who, having merely taken out the trash, gives the impression that he’s just cleaned the whole house. ~Author Unknown
  9. The five words needed for a successful marriage, “I’m sorry, it’s my fault.” ~Author Unknown
  10. When you see a married couple walking down the street, the one that’s a few steps ahead is the one that’s mad. ~Helen Rowland
  11. Happy wife; happy life. ~Author Unknown

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11 funny quotes about money to make you smile

Money, that’s what I want! And so does everyone else.

It’s a modern obsession. We like to think that it doesn’t matter but it does of course. In the modern world we cannot get far without at least some of it.

We all talk about money and we’re constantly chasing value for money. This is natural of course because our lifestyle such as it is depends on the money we have and the money we earn.

However there’s a slightly absurd and amusing side to it all too. So I thought I’d search out some quotes to explore the funny side of money.

Here are 11 funny quotes about money that made me smile and I hope they brighten your day too.

Funny quotes about money:

  1. A Nillionaire is someone with no money. ~Author Unknown
  2. Due to recent budget cuts the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off. ~Author Unknown
  3. Money isn’t the most important thing in life, but it’s reasonably close to oxygen on the “gotta have it” scale. ~Zig Ziglar
  4. My wallet is like an onion, opening it makes me cry. ~Author Unknown
  5. Whoever said money can’t buy happiness doesn’t know where to shop. ~Author Unknown
  6. They say money talks and perhaps it does, but mine just says goodbye. ~Author Unknown
  7. Where does money go? Hokus, pokus and then I’m brokus. ~Author Unknown
  8. Always borrow money from a pessimist because they don’t expect to get it back. ~Oscar Wilde
  9. Money may not buy happiness but if you’re going to cry it’s better to do it in a Mercedes or BMW. ~Author Unknown
  10. A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t need but it’s in the sale. ~Author Unknown
  11. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. ~Lana Turner

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21 thought-provoking quotes about inspiration

Do you need a little inspiration occasionally, because I know I do?

It seems to me that most readers find quotes a good source of inspiration. Not just quotes from the great thinkers of course. Rather it’s those  observations from ordinary people about life and the human condition that can also be truly inspiring.

Here are 21 thought-provoking quotes about inspiration.

They’re not so much about inspiration as intended to be a source of inspiration.

Most of all, each and every one of these quotes offers something different by way of inspiration I think.

These quotes will make you think too, which is important. If you’re trying to develop your own philosophy for dealing with life and the people around you then these quotes should help you.

So read them all, reflect on them and see how many of them you can work into your day.

Quotes about inspiration:

  1. Everyone is good at something and once you find it, what you can achieve is limitless. ~Andrew Flintoff
  2. The deepest craving of human nature is to be appreciated. ~William James
  3. Every man has three characters: that which he shows; that which he has; and that which he thinks he has. ~Alphonse Karr
  4. The man who does not work for the love of work but only for money is neither likely to make money nor find much fun in life. ~Charles M. Schwab
  5. Never mind what others do; do better than yourself, beat your own record from day to day and you are a success. ~William J.H. Boetcker
  6. Don’t be afraid of failure. If something doesn’t work, use what you’ve learned to try and try again. ~Sir James Dyson
  7. Even if your vision is flawed, if you have the passion and the implementation skills, you’ll get there [in the end]. ~Jim McCarthy
  8. The drops of rain make a hole in the stone not by violence but by oft falling. ~Lucretius
  9. Children are like wet cement. Whatever falls on them makes an impression. ~Haim Ginott
  10. A truly loving parent won’t be looking for payback from a child. The child’s happiness, self-confidence and independence are the only rewards for good parenting. ~Roy Sutton
  11. Being considerate of others will take your children further in life than any college degree. ~Marian Wright Edelman
  12. If you look around at successful people, the movers and shakers are those who are positive, who won’t take no for an answer, and who make things happen – either for themselves or for others. ~Carole Spiers
  13. I think one of the most pervasive evils in the world is greed and acquiring money for money’s sake. Once you have six houses and a plane it is just about a number. It’s never been anything I understood. ~Kevin Bacon
  14. Have the courage to say no. Have the courage to face the truth. Do the right thing because it is right. These are the magic keys to living your life with integrity. ~W. Clement Stone
  15. There’s one sad truth in life I’ve found while journeying east and west. The only folks we really wound are those we love the best. We flatter those we scarcely know. We please the fleeting guest. And deal full many a thoughtless blow to those who love us best. ~Ella Wheeler Wilcox
  16. If a man is called to be a street sweeper, he should sweep even as Michelangelo painted or Beethoven composed music or Shakespeare wrote poetry. He should sweep streets so well that all the hosts of heaven and earth will pause to say, here lived a great street sweeper who did his job well. ~Martin Luther King
  17. Stand up to your obstacles and do something about them. You will find that they haven’t half the strength you think they have. ~Dr Norman Vincent Peale
  18. Other people may not like what you choose to do but as long as you’re not hurting anyone else then it is your business and yours alone. You weren’t put on this earth just to please other people. ~Roy Sutton
  19. The best years of your life are the ones in which you decide your problems are your own. You do not blame them on your mother, the ecology or the president. You realise that you control your own destiny. ~Albert Ellis
  20. My mother drew a distinction between achievement and success. She said that achievement is the knowledge that you have studied and worked hard and done the best that is in you. Success is being praised by others, and that’s nice too, but not as important or satisfying. Always aim for achievement and forget about success. ~ Helen Hayes Brown
  21. The person who tries to live alone will not succeed as a human being. His heart withers if it does not answer another heart. His mind shrinks away if he hears only the echoes of his own thoughts and finds no other inspiration. ~Pearl S. Buck

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15 Quotes by Joan Rivers

The late Joan Alexandra Molinsky is better known as the legendary Joan Rivers to lovers of comedy everywhere. She was razor sharp and very funny and arguably one the finest American stand-up comedians of all time in what was probably the golden age of light entertainment.

Joan Rivers pioneered her own brand of irreverent, unconventional comedy and her relentless work ethic allowed her comedy to evolve and her audiences continued to grow. A remarkable lady and one who always made me laugh.

Here are 15 quotes by Joan Rivers, which will make you smile I’m sure.

Quotes by Joan Rivers:

  1. I succeeded by saying what everyone else is thinking. ~Joan Rivers
  2. The first time I see a jogger smiling, I’ll consider it. ~Joan Rivers
  3. My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on. ~Joan Rivers
  4. Forty for you, sixty for me. And equal partners we will be. ~Joan Rivers
  5. There is not one female comic who was beautiful as a little girl. ~Joan Rivers
  6. Never floss with a stranger. ~Joan Rivers
  7. I have flabby thighs but fortunately my stomach covers them. ~Joan Rivers
  8. I think anyone who’s perfectly happy isn’t particularly funny. ~Joan Rivers
  9. We don’t apologize for a joke. We are comics. We are here to make you laugh. If you don’t get it, then don’t watch us. ~Joan Rivers
  10. People say that money is not the key to happiness but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made. ~Joan Rivers
  11. I don’t exercise. If God had wanted me to bend over, he’d have put diamonds on the floor. ~Joan Rivers
  12. I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again. ~Joan Rivers
  13. Part of my act is meant to shake you up. It looks like I’m being funny, but I’m reminding you of other things. Life is tough, darling. Life is hard. And we better laugh at everything; otherwise, we’re going down the tube. ~Joan Rivers
  14. I never dwell on what happened. You can’t change it. Move forward. Don’t waste your energy on being angry at something that somebody did six months ago or a year ago. It’s over. Done. Move forward. ~Joan Rivers
  15. I walk on a stage, and I know if it’s been a good show or not. You know when it’s been a good interview. No one has to tell you. You know it. You feel it. You can feel the air. You can feel everything about it when it’s a good show. And you know when you’ve messed up. ~Joan Rivers

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21 favourite quotes to inspire you when you’re feeling down

Quotes can be such a source of inspiration, especially when we’re feeling a little down. When everything’s not quite going in the way we’d like, it’s helpful to reflect on the wisdom of successful people.

Successful people weren’t always successful. They started out as ordinary people with a dream and a determination to follow that dream and take it as far as they could.

And in getting to where they are they’ll have met many obstacles along the way and at times they too will have felt a little down.

No one has it that easy. The only difference is that successful people keep going. They never give up.

Successful people make sure they have a source of inspiration for when they need it. They always have something to lift them when times get tough.

For me it’s quotes. I love them.

Here are 21 of my favourite quotes that certainly inspire me when I’m in need of a lift.

Favourite quotes:

  1. The only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle. ~Steve Jobs
  2. Nothing will ever be attempted if all possible objections must first be overcome. ~Samuel Johnson
  3. Every artist was first an amateur. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
  4. Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all. ~Dale Carnegie
  5. Whoever is happy will make others happy, too. ~Mark Twain
  6. You can never cross the ocean unless you have the courage to lose sight of the shore. ~Christopher Columbus
  7. Success seems to be connected with action. Successful people keep moving. They make mistakes, but they don’t quit. ~Conrad Hilton
  8. That’s precisely the question everyone should be asking—why the hell not? Why not you, why not now? ~Timothy Ferriss
  9. The quality of a person’s life is in direct proportion to their commitment to excellence, regardless of their chosen field of endeavour. ~Vince Lombardi
  10. It takes courage to grow up and turn out to be who you really are. ~E.E. Cummings
  11. Do not let what you cannot do; interfere with what you can do. ~John Wooden
  12. Failure is the opportunity to begin again more intelligently. ~Henry Ford
  13. Use what talents you possess. The woods will be very silent if no birds sang except those that sang best. ~Henry Van Dyke
  14. You are what you think about all day long. ~Dr Robert Schuller
  15. The biggest mistake people make in life is not trying to make a living at doing what they most enjoy. ~Malcolm Forbes
  16. Don’t ask yourself what the world needs; ask yourself what makes you come alive. And then go and do that. Because what the world needs is people who are alive. ~Howard Thurman
  17. The most important thing is to be whatever you are without shame. ~Rod Steiger
  18. Courage is like a muscle; it is strengthened by use. ~Ruth Gordon
  19. Do not be afraid to ask dumb questions; they are easier to handle than dumb mistakes. ~Author Unknown
  20. Once we accept our limits, we go beyond them. ~Albert Einstein
  21. What the world needs is more geniuses with humility, there are so few of us left. ~Oscar Levant

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21 thought-provoking quotes about love

We all need to feel loved and we all crave affection. That’s only natural.

However love is an emotion, so it’s more complex than we’d prefer. It’s complex enough to be beyond the comprehension of most people most of the time.

Mostly love is one of life’s great mysteries.

So here are 21 thought-provoking quotes about love to help you reflect on the great mystery of love.

If you’re in love then I hope it’s reciprocated.

If you’d like to be in love then I hope you find that special someone some time very soon. In the meantime enjoy today’s quotes.

Quotes about love:

  1. Where there is love there is life. Mahatma Gandhi
  2. Friends show their love in times of trouble, not in happiness. Euripides
  3. Forgiveness is the final form of love. Reinhold Niebuhr
  4. Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. Lao Tzu
  5. Love is when the other person’s happiness is more important than your own. H. Jackson Brown Jr
  6. The greatest healing therapy is friendship and love. Hubert H. Humphrey
  7. Money can buy you a fine dog but only love can make him wag his tail. Kinky Friedman
  8. The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother. Theodore Hesburgh
  9. The beauty of a woman must be seen from in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides. Audrey Hepburn
  10. Let us always meet each other with smile, for the smile is the beginning of love. Mother Teresa
  11. The most important thing in the world is family and love. John Wooden
  12. Faith makes all things possible and love makes all things easy. Dwight L. Moody
  13. Let the beauty of what you love be what you do. Rumi
  14. If you love someone, set them free. If they come back they’re yours; if they don’t they never were. Richard Bach
  15. Love is friendship that has caught fire. It is quiet understanding, mutual confidence, sharing and forgiving. It is loyalty through good and bad times. It settles for less than perfection and makes allowances for human weaknesses. Ann Landers
  16. Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none. William Shakespeare
  17. Love isn’t something you find. Love is something that finds you. Loretta Young
  18. I love you the more in that I believe you had liked me for my own sake and for nothing else. John Keats
  19. They invented hugs to let people know you love them without saying anything. Bil Keane
  20. Never make a decision when you are upset, sad, jealous or in love. Mario Teguh
  21. Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that. Martin Luther King Jr

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15 Quotes by Phyllis Diller

The late Phyllis Ada Driver or Phyllis Diller as she was better known was another one of America’s greatest comic talents.

She was an actress and stand-up comedienne with an eccentric stage persona.

Self-deprecating humor was her stock in trade, together with wild hair, zany clothes and an exaggerated, cackling laugh.

Phyllis Diller was a very funny lady and one who is greatly missed by fans of good comedy everywhere.

Quotes by Phyllis Diller:

Here are 15 quotes by Phyllis Diller which should make you smile.

  1. You know what keeps me humble? Mirrors! ~Phyllis Diller
  2. The best contraceptive for old people is nudity. ~Phyllis Diller
  3. You know you’re old if they’ve discontinued your blood type. ~Phyllis Diller
  4. I never made `Who’s Who,’ but I’m featured in `What’s That?’ ~Phyllis Diller
  5. Remarrying a husband you’ve divorced is like having your appendix put back in. ~Phyllis Diller
  6. The only thing my husband and I have in common is that we were married on the same day. ~Phyllis Diller
  7. Nothing was happening in the bedroom. I nicknamed our waterbed the Dead Sea. ~Phyllis Diller
  8. Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going. ~Phyllis Diller
  9. I always wondered how I could tell when the right one came along but it was easy. He was the only one that came along. ~Phyllis Diller
  10. Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age. As your beauty fades, so will his eyesight. ~Phyllis Diller
  11. This woman goes into a gun shop and says, ‘I want to buy a gun for my husband.’ The clerk says, ‘Did he tell you what kind of gun?’ ‘No,’ she replied. ‘He doesn’t even know I’m going to shoot him. ~Phyllis Diller
  12. Life is a do-it-yourself kit; so do it yourself. Work. Practice. ~Phyllis Diller
  13. Let me tell you, a discussion that starts, ‘I’ll tell you something you do that irritates me, if you tell me something I do that bothers you,’ never ends in a hug and a kiss. ~Phyllis Diller
  14. This man I was going out with asked me for my finger measurements. I thought he was going to buy me a ring for Christmas but he gave me a bowling ball. ~Phyllis Diller
  15. To get a roaster clean, send something like baked apples in it to a neighbor. Neighbors always return pans spotless, and you won’t have to use a blow torch on it like you usually do. ~Phyllis Diller

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21 thought-provoking quotes about happiness

You’ll be as happy as you choose to be.

Yes, life’s challenging. Yes, life’s full of frustrations and disappointments. Yes, people do drive you nuts occasionally.

No one’s life is perfect, despite any outward signs to the contrary.

And it is a fact that everyone has problems.

Personal happiness depends on how we choose to look at life. It’s that simple. Happiness is not a destination it’s a state of being.

So if you’re not currently in that state, here are 21 thought-provoking quotes about happiness to help you.

You can let life’s challenges make you feel miserable or you can refuse to let anything get you down.

Focus on the good things in your life, however few and small they may be.

Just say to yourself, I’m going to be happy and nothing is going to stop me.

You will find that being happy isn’t as hard as it might appear to be.

Enjoy these 21 thought-provoking quotes about happiness and I hope they help to increase your sense of personal happiness and make your life much more fulfilling:-

Quotes about happiness:

  1. Be happy for this moment. This moment is your life. ~Omar Khayyam
  2. No medicine cures what happiness cannot. ~Gabriel García Márquez
  3. One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory. ~Rita Mae Brown
  4. Whoever is happy will make others happy. ~Anne Frank
  5. We forge the chains we wear in life. ~Charles Dickens
  6. Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know. ~Ernest Hemingway
  7. People don’t notice whether it’s winter or summer when they’re happy. ~Anton Chekhov
  8. The most important thing is to enjoy your life, to be happy, it’s all that matters. Audrey Hepburn
  9. Indeed, man wishes to be happy even when he so lives as to make happiness impossible. ~St Augustine
  10. It is not how much we have but how much we enjoy that makes happiness. ~Charles Spurgeon
  11. The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance, the wise grows it under his feet. ~James Oppenheim
  12. Happiness lies in the joy of achievement and the thrill of creative effort. ~Franklin D. Roosevelt
  13. Folks are usually about as happy as they make their minds up to be. ~Abraham Lincoln
  14. Now and then it’s good to pause in our pursuit of happiness and just be happy. ~Robert Brault 
  15. I must learn to be content with being happier than I deserve. ~Jane Austen
  16. If you aren’t grateful for what you already have, what makes you think you would be happy with more. ~Roy T. Bennett 
  17. Who is the happier man, he who has braved the storm of life and lived or he who has stayed securely on shore and merely existed? ~Hunter S. Thompson
  18. If you want to be happy, set a goal that commands your thoughts, liberates your energy and inspires your hopes. ~Andrew Carnegie
  19. For every minute you are angry you lose sixty seconds of happiness. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson 
  20. You will never be happy if you continue to search for what happiness consists of. You will never live if you are looking for the meaning of life. ~Albert Camus
  21. Three grand essentials to happiness in this life are something to do, something to love and something to hope for. ~Joseph Addison

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© Roy J Sutton and Mann Island Media Limited 2018. All Rights Reserved.

30 of the best puns guaranteed to make you laugh

I love a clever pun. Here are 30 of the best puns I’ve heard for a long time. I cannot be sure of there origin but they are guaranteed to make you laugh. Certainly they made me laugh and I really hope they brighten your day too.

  1. Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
  2. A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now seasoned veteran.
  3. Atheists can’t solve exponential equations because they don’t believe in higher powers.
  4. I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
  5. A girl said she recognised me from my vegetarian club but I’d never met herbivore.
  6. I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
  7. The Energiser Bunny has been arrested and charged with battery.
  8. What’s the difference between a poorly dressed man on a bicycle and a nicely dressed man on a tricycle? A tire.
  9. I didn’t like my beard at first but it grew on me.
  10. What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
  11. Did you hear about the man who jumped off a bridge in France? He was in Sein.
  12. When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.
  13. What does the clock do when it’s hungry? It goes back four seconds.
  14. I dreamt I wrote Lord of the Rings but I think I was just Tolkien in my sleep.
  15. Thanks for explaining the word “many” to me, it means a lot.
  16. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
  17. I ordered 2000 lbs. of Chinese soup. It was Won Ton.
  18. With great reflexes comes great response ability.
  19. Did you hear about the guy who got fired from the calendar factory for taking a day off?
  20. Why do the French eat snails? They don’t like fast food.
  21. A courtroom artist was arrested today for an unknown reason. Details are sketchy.
  22. Don’t make jokes about unemployed people. They don’t work.
  23. My computer’s got Miley Virus. It has stopped twerking.
  24. My boss told me to have a good day. So I went home.
  25. What is the best thing about living in Switzerland? Well, the flag is a big plus.
  26. The best time to open a gift is the present.
  27. Why did the picture end up in jail? It was framed!
  28. I used to build stairs for a living but it’s an up and down business.
  29. Did you hear about the Italian chef with a terminal illness? He pastaway.
  30. What happens if you eat yeast and shoe polish? Every morning you’ll rise and shine!

Please share the fun:

I hope these puns made you laugh dear reader. However perhaps you feel that you could use another laugh? If so click on the links below. You’ll find plenty of smiles to amuse you.

And if you’ve enjoyed what you’ve read here then please share these jokes with all  your friends on social media. When you share, everyone wins. It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

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