10 Silly Jokes


If jokes that are just a little bit silly appeal to you, here are 10 silly jokes guaranteed to make you smile. These are the sort of jokes you’d find in Christmas crackers. Corny but you just can’t help laughing at them. Well groaning anyway.

  • What do you call an alligator in a vest?
  • An investigator.
  • What kind of car does Mickey Mouse’s wife drive?
  • A Minnie van!
  • What do you get when you cross a dog with an antenna?
  • A Golden Receiver.
  • Where should a 600 pound gorilla go?
  • On a diet
  • What has one head, one foot and four legs?
  • A bed.
  • What did the stamp say to the envelope?
  • Stick with me and we’ll go places!
  • What would happen if you threw yellow sneakers into the Red Sea?
  • They’d get wet.
  • Why did the photograph go to jail?
  • Because it was framed.
  • What would Bears become without Bees?
  • Ears.
  • Why can’t your nose be 12 inches long?
  • Because then it would be a foot!
  • What is green and smells like blue paint?
  • Green paint.

If these silly jokes made you smile then please share them with your friends on social media. When you share, everyone wins. It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

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© Roy J Sutton and Mann Island Media Limited 2018. All Rights Reserved.

15 Black Humor Jokes

Do you enjoy black humor? That is, humor with a slightly darker edge? Some people find this type of humor a little distasteful but it can be very funny I think. Here are 15 black humor jokes which I hope will make you smile. None of these are too distasteful, so I hope they will appeal to everyone.

  • Doctor: I have some good news and some bad news. Which one would you like to hear first?
  • Patient: The good news please.
  • Doctor: I’ve got the diagnosis for your illness. Unfortunately it suggests you have only two days to live.
  • Patient: So what’s the bad news then?”
  • Doctor: I’ve been trying to contact you for two days.

 

  • Today really has been a terrible day.
  • First my wife gets hit by a bus.
  • Then I lose my job as a bus driver.

 

  • The doctor gave me one year to live.
  • So in the heat of the moment, I shot him.
  • The judge gave me 15 years. Problem solved.

 

  • Wow, honey, I never thought our son would go that far.
  • Yes, isn’t this catapult is amazing. Quick get our daughter!

 

  • Girl: So, what do you do?
  • Boy: I work with animals every day.
  • Girl: Oh that’s so sweet! What exactly do you do?
  • Boy: I’m a butcher.

 

  • What do you call a dog with no legs?
  • Doesn’t matter what you call him, he won’t come to you anyway.

 

  • Fred walks into a shop and sees a nice looking dog.
  • Does your dog bite? Fred says to the shop assistant.
  • No, my dog doesn’t bite, said the assistant.
  • Fred starts petting the dog but it attacks him viciously.
  • You said your dog doesn’t bite, said Fred.
  • He doesn’t. That isn’t my dog, said the assistant.

 

  • I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my father did.
  • Not screaming and yelling like the passengers on his bus.

 

  • They say the quickest way to a man’s heart is through the stomach.
  • Personally, I find a knife through the ribcage a lot quicker.

 

  • Finally I got one of those roof-top boxes for the car.
  • It’s very practical. I can barely hear my kids now.

 

  • I took my wife out for tea and biscuits. 
  • She wasn’t very happy about having to donate blood though.

 

  • Mom, I’m still having those sharp headaches!
  • Then don’t stand in front of the dart board!

 

  • Q: Why did the one-armed man cross the road?
  • A: To get to the second hand shop.

 

  • A man awakens from a coma.
  • His wife is irritated and changes out of her black clothing.
  • I really can’t depend on you for anything, can I?

 

  • If I’m smiling, I’m probably thinking of doing something evil. 
  • If I’m laughing, I’ve already done it.

If any of these black humor jokes made you smile then please share them with your friends on social media. When you share, everyone wins. It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

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© Roy J Sutton and Mann Island Media Limited 2018. All Rights Reserved.

10 Hilarious Jokes

Jokes are always popular with readers, so once again I’ve been searching the Internet for stuff to make you smile. Here are 10 hilarious jokes that really made me laugh and I hope they brighten your day too.

They are all classified as ‘Author Unknown’ as I’ve have been unable to confirm the identity of the original authors. However I’d be happy to add appropriate writing credits to each and every joke if anyone can advise me as to their origin.

  • A naked woman robbed a bank.
  • Nobody could remember her face.

 

  • Patient: Doctor I’m so nervous, this is my first operation.
  • Doctor: Oh don’t worry. It’s mine too.

 

  • Don’t be sad when a bird craps on your head.
  • Be happy that dogs can’t fly.

 

  • My girlfriend isn’t talking to me. She said I ruined her birthday.
  • I’m not sure how. I didn’t even know it was her birthday.

 

  • My girlfriend says I’m hopeless at fixing appliances.
  • Well she’s in for a shock.

 

  • What do you call a Mexican bodybuilder who’s run out of protein?
  • No whey Jose.

 

  • My girlfriend has her own taser.
  • She’s a real stunner.

 

  • I bought a dog off a blacksmith recently.
  • As soon as I got it home it made a bolt for the door.

 

  • What do you do with an epileptic lettuce?
  • You make a seizure salad.

 

  • A man walks into a zoo and the only animal they have is a dog
  • It’s a Shih Tzu.

If these hilarious jokes make you smile then please share them with your friends on social media. When you share, everyone wins. It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

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© Roy J Sutton and Mann Island Media Limited 2018. All Rights Reserved.

12 of the funniest jokes

We all need a smile or two occasionally. Jokes cheer us up and laughter is the best medicine. So here are 12 of the funniest jokes in two lines; all found on the internet but unfortunately all by authors unknown.

Enjoy them all!

  • You don’t need a parachute to go skydiving
  • You need a parachute to go skydiving twice

 

  • Parallel lines have so much in common
  • It’s a shame they’ll never meet

 

  • Women only call me ugly until they find out how much money I make
  • Then they call me ugly and poor

 

  • Someone stole my Microsoft Office and they’re going to pay
  • You have my Word

 

  • I went to a really emotional wedding the other day
  • Even the cake was in tiers

 

  • Someone stole my mood ring
  • I don’t know how I feel about that

 

  • I tried to catch fog yesterday
  • Mist

 

  • Why does a chicken coop have two doors?
  • If it had four doors it would be a chicken sedan

 

  • I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrow too high
  • She looked surprised

 

  • I threw a boomerang a few years ago
  • I now live in constant fear

 

  • A guy shows up late for work. His boss yells, “You should’ve been here at 8.30!”
  • The guy replies, “Why? What happened at 8.30?

 

  • To people who say, “My dog is my best friend.”
  • I say, “Your dog may be your best friend but will it pick you up at the airport? I think not.”

If you enjoyed these jokes then please share them with your friends on social media. When you share, everyone wins.

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© Roy J Sutton and Mann Island Media Limited 2017. All Rights Reserved.

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