15 Quotes by Joan Rivers


The late Joan Alexandra Molinsky is better known as the legendary Joan Rivers to lovers of comedy everywhere. She was razor sharp and very funny and arguably one the finest American stand-up comedians of all time in what was probably the golden age of light entertainment.

Joan Rivers pioneered her own brand of irreverent, unconventional comedy and her relentless work ethic allowed her comedy to evolve and her audiences continued to grow. A remarkable lady and one who always made me laugh.

Here are 15 quotes by Joan Rivers, which will make you smile I’m sure.

Quotes by Joan Rivers:

  1. I succeeded by saying what everyone else is thinking. ~Joan Rivers
  2. The first time I see a jogger smiling, I’ll consider it. ~Joan Rivers
  3. My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on. ~Joan Rivers
  4. Forty for you, sixty for me. And equal partners we will be. ~Joan Rivers
  5. There is not one female comic who was beautiful as a little girl. ~Joan Rivers
  6. Never floss with a stranger. ~Joan Rivers
  7. I have flabby thighs but fortunately my stomach covers them. ~Joan Rivers
  8. I think anyone who’s perfectly happy isn’t particularly funny. ~Joan Rivers
  9. We don’t apologize for a joke. We are comics. We are here to make you laugh. If you don’t get it, then don’t watch us. ~Joan Rivers
  10. People say that money is not the key to happiness but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made. ~Joan Rivers
  11. I don’t exercise. If God had wanted me to bend over, he’d have put diamonds on the floor. ~Joan Rivers
  12. I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again. ~Joan Rivers
  13. Part of my act is meant to shake you up. It looks like I’m being funny, but I’m reminding you of other things. Life is tough, darling. Life is hard. And we better laugh at everything; otherwise, we’re going down the tube. ~Joan Rivers
  14. I never dwell on what happened. You can’t change it. Move forward. Don’t waste your energy on being angry at something that somebody did six months ago or a year ago. It’s over. Done. Move forward. ~Joan Rivers
  15. I walk on a stage, and I know if it’s been a good show or not. You know when it’s been a good interview. No one has to tell you. You know it. You feel it. You can feel the air. You can feel everything about it when it’s a good show. And you know when you’ve messed up. ~Joan Rivers

Please share with your friends:

Did you find these quotes by Joan Rivers amusing?

You did? I hope so anyway.

If that is the case then please share them with your friends because when you share everyone wins.

So share them now on social media. If you can do that for me then it will be truly appreciated. Thank you.

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© Roy J Sutton and Mann Island Media Limited 2018. All Rights Reserved.


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