21 Humorous Quotes by Authors Unknown


By popular demand here are another 21 humorous quotes from authors unknown intended to make you smile dear reader. Especially relevant to those readers desperately in need of something amusing to brighten their day. As a result of this post your day should improve just a little, hopefully.

This is the latest in a collection of humorous quotes put together in response to requests from readers for more laughter and less gloom. They’re probably as funny as any quotes you’ll read today or any day. Maybe you disagree? If so your comments would be welcome.

Of course some readers will question the spelling of ‘humorous’. Some will say surely it should be ‘humourous’? Well that depends on where you live, doesn’t it? What matters is having a laugh, surely? Consequently the spelling doesn’t matter. The choice reflects the spelling preferred by the majority of readers.

So laugh long and laugh loud. Most of all enjoy the moment and then on-pass the smiles to your friends. :-

  1. Santa saw your Facebook posts. This year you’re getting a dictionary. ~Author Unknown
  2. I think something’s missing in my life. Like two or three million dollars. ~Author Unknown
  3. You know you’re a mom when you understand why mama bear’s porridge was cold. ~Author Unknown
  4. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie. ~Author Unknown
  5. I once had a job in an orange juice factory but I got canned because I couldn’t concentrate. ~Author Unknown
  6. It was me, I let the dogs out. ~Author Unknown
  7. Today is one of those days when even my coffee needs a coffee. ~Author Unknown
  8. I’m on that new diet where you eat anything you want and you pray for a miracle. ~Author Unknown
  9. I am one step away from being rich and all I need now is money. ~Author Unknown
  10. I childproofed my house but the kids still get in somehow. ~Author Unknown
  11. Lazy is such an ugly word. I prefer to call it selective participation. ~Author Unknown
  12. I remember years ago when all I wanted to do is be older. I was wrong. ~Author Unknown
  13. People say I act like I don’t care. It’s not an act. ~Author Unknown
  14. Dear life, when I said “can this day get any worse?” it was a rhetorical question, not a challenge. ~Author Unknown
  15. I never make the same mistake twice. I make it three four times, you know, just to be sure! ~Author Unknown
  16. Parenthood is the scariest hood to go through. ~Author Unknown
  17. I was going to take over the world today but I overslept. Postponed, again! ~Author Unknown
  18. Don’t mess with me; I know Karate, Judo, Jujitsu, Kung Fu and 20 other dangerous words. ~Author Unknown
  19. An apple a day keeps anyone anyway, if you throw it hard enough. ~Author Unknown
  20. I’ve made it from the bed to the couch. There’s no stopping me now. ~Author Unknown
  21. That awkward moment you can’t understand what somebody is saying after they’ve repeated it about five times. ~Author Unknown

Please share these humorous quotes with your friends on social media. Make them smile too. When you share, everyone wins.

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© Roy J Sutton and Mann Island Media Limited 2017. All Rights Reserved.


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