3 of the funniest jokes about law and order


1. Rookie cop:

Jake is a rookie cop and he’s on his first day in a patrol car.

His partner is Vinny, an experienced cop with who’s been around the block quite a few times and knows the score.

Nothing much happens for the first hour of their shift but then suddenly they get a call on the radio asking them to disperse a group of people who’ve been reported as loitering on Main Street.

Let me deal with this one Vinny”, says Jake, all pumped up and ready to go.

OK buddy, go for it!” Vinny responds.

As their patrol car approaches Main Street they can see a small crowd on the corner.

So Jake jumps out of the patrol car, approaches the small crowd and says, “Okay people can we move along now please. Come on now, quick as you can. Surely you’ve all got homes to go to?

Well the crowd just ignores Jake’s instruction, so he feels compelled to repeat his command, “Come on now move along please. There’s nothing to see here. Failure to comply with a police officer’s instruction is a misdemeanor and I will have to book you if you don’t move along.

Well mention of being booked seems to do the trick because people then start to drift away in different directions.

His confidence boosted by his apparent success, Jake gets back into the patrol car.

Jake smiles at Vinny and says, “Not a bad start don’t you think?

Yeah, I guess so”, says Vinny, “pity it was Bus Stop though.

2. Don’t mess with old people:

Fred is an old man living on his own when one night he spots burglars breaking into the shed in his garden.

Naturally he’s left feeling a little insecure by this turn of events, so he calls 911.

Well the 911 operator advises Fred that there are no patrol cars available in his area to help him right now.

So Fred hangs up the phone and waits for a few minutes before he calls 911 again.

I called you a few minutes ago to report burglars in my garden shed. Well you can cancel my request for help now because I’ve just shot them all”, says Fred.

Within minutes there are three patrol cars outside Fred’s house with sirens wailing and blue lights flashing.

One of the police officers marches up the drive and says to Fred, “I thought you said you’d shot them all?

To which Fred responds, “And I thought you said that there were no patrol cars available.

3. Silence in court:

Jim is in the dock facing a double murder charge.

You are charged with beating your wife to death with a spanner”, says the Judge.

Hearing this charge, a man in the public gallery screams, “You bastard.

Ignoring this interruption the Judge continues, “You are also charged with beating your wife’s lover to death with a spanner.”

Again the man in the public gallery screams, “You bastard.

Irritated by this second interruption, the Judge turns his attention to the gallery and says, “Sir I understand your outrage at what are terrible crimes but I will not tolerate another such outburst in this courtroom. Interrupt again and you will be held in contempt of court.

I’m sorry your honour”, said the man, “but I’ve lived next door to this bastard for 12 years and every time I’ve asked to borrow a spanner he told me he didn’t have one.

Please share the fun:

I hope you found these the funniest jokes about law and order dear reader.

However perhaps you feel that you could still use a good laugh? If so click on the links below. You’ll find plenty of smiles to amuse you.

And if you’ve enjoyed what you’ve read here today then please share these jokes with all  your friends on social media. When you share, everyone wins. It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

So go on, do it now. I will be ever so grateful.

Other articles you’ll find amusing:

© Roy J Sutton and Mann Island Media Limited 2018. All Rights Reserved.


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