15 witty quotes that’ll make anyone smile


Witty QuotesPosts which include something to make readers smile always get a good response.

So here are 15 witty quotes which are razor sharp and at least a few of them should brighten your day I am sure.

This is a collection of witty quotes put together in response to requests from readers for a little levity to break up the otherwise gloomy news which seems to have dominated our lives this year.

So go on have a laugh right now and enjoy them all.

Today’s Witty Quotes:

  1. I generally avoid temptation unless I can’t resist it. ~Mae West
  2. When you’re in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, ‘Damn, that was fun’. ~Groucho Marx
  3. Never put off till tomorrow what may be done the day after tomorrow just as well. ~Mark Twain
  4. Women and cats will do as they please and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. ~Robert A. Heinlein
  5. I think God, in creating man, somewhat overestimated his ability. ~Oscar Wilde
  6. I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally. ~W.C. Fields
  7. My tastes are simple: I am easily satisfied with the best. ~Winston S. Churchill
  8. Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city. ~George Burns
  9. Two wrongs don’t make a right but they do make a good excuse. ~Thomas Szasz
  10. People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day. ~A.A. Milne
  11. If a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, of what, then, is an empty desk a sign? ~Laurence J. Peter
  12. If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it. ~W.C. Fields
  13. Whenever I feel the need to exercise, I lie down until it goes away. ~Paul Terry
  14. When you’re courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That’s relativity. ~Albert Einstein
  15. Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? ~George Carlin

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© Roy J Sutton and Mann Island Media Limited 2018. All Rights Reserved.

15 Quotes by Penny Marshall

Penny MarshallI was saddened this week to hear that the film director and actress Penny Marshall has passed away. She was a great talent and I’m sure she’ll be missed by all who knew her well.

Penny Marshall rose to fame in the 1970s for her role in the hit US television sitcom Laverne & Shirley.

Playing the role of Laverne DeFazio, she was funny and she created a character that has proved to be one of the standout comedy characters from the golden age of situation comedy.

If you’re not familiar with Laverne & Shirley then you can purchase this sitcom on DVD from Amazon. Alternatively there are plenty of clips available on YouTube to give you an idea of how good it was back in the day.

You might also find this ABC News tribute to Penny Marshall well worth a couple of minutes of your time:-

In recent years there has been an improvement in the availability of opportunities for women, particularly in show-business. And that’s how it should be of course.

However we have to admire those strong and talented women from previous generations who managed to succeed at their chosen profession, despite a system designed to keep them very much in their place. And in Penny Marshall women had a great role model.

She managed to become a successful director of films, an area of entertainment which is still heavily dominated by men to this day.

She was clearly a very smart lady. So here are 15 quotes by Penny Marshall which reflect her personal philosophy.

Quotes by Penny Marshall:

  1. I think everyone’s mother is slightly nuts. ~Penny Marshall
  2. My family is well and that’s what’s important. ~Penny Marshall
  3. I want you to laugh and cry. That’s what I do. ~Penny Marshall
  4. I wasn’t like a girly girl. I was a tomboy. ~Penny Marshall
  5. If you’re not having a good time, find something else that gives you some joy in life. ~Penny Marshall
  6. I have a strange combination of fearlessness and massive insecurity. ~Penny Marshall
  7. In my opinion, life’s more important than show business. ~Penny Marshall
  8. When I’m working, I’m obsessively working. ~Penny Marshall
  9. I do feel it’s important to entertain people. I try to. ~Penny Marshall
  10. The truth is that I’m not a frump. I just enjoy being laid back. ~Penny Marshall
  11. I would much rather feel comfortable and feel beautiful, than to feel uncomfortable, but look fantastic. ~Penny Marshall
  12. Once I commit to something, I complete it. If I say ‘No,’ I mean ‘No.’ I just have to learn how to say ‘No’ more. ~Penny Marshall
  13. I’ll try anything. What are they gonna do, kick me out of show business? ~Penny Marshall
  14. Movie stars are insecure like everyone else. That’s why they go into acting! ~Penny Marshall
  15. Look at YouTube, how many talented people there are. It’s a whole new world of how to express yourself. I don’t know how to work that world, but take advantage of it. ~Penny Marshall

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© Roy J Sutton and Mann Island Media Limited 2018. All Rights Reserved.

15 Quotes by Martin Luther King Jr

Quotes by Martin Luther King JrSynonymous with the civil rights movement in the United States, the late Martin Luther King Jr was its most visible spokesperson and leader.

He was one of the most influential figures of all time, I would argue, and his dignity and philosophy are all the more impressive given the unjust treatment people like him experienced at that time, and often still do.

Here are 15 quotes by Martin Luther King Jr which are guaranteed to make you think. Certainly they made me think. 

Quotes by Martin Luther King Jr:

  1. I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear. ~Martin Luther King Jr
  2. He who passively accepts evil is as much involved in it as he who helps to perpetrate it. He who accepts evil without protesting against it is really cooperating with it. ~Martin Luther King Jr
  3. Let us not seek to satisfy our thirst for freedom by drinking from the cup of bitterness and hatred. ~Martin Luther King Jr
  4. He who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power to love. ~Martin Luther King Jr
  5. Forgiveness is not an occasional act; it is a constant attitude. ~Martin Luther King Jr
  6. You know, a lot of people don’t love themselves. And they go through life with deep and haunting emotional conflicts. So the length of life means that you must love yourself. And you know what loving yourself also means? It means that you’ve got to accept yourself. ~Martin Luther King Jr
  7. I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character. ~Martin Luther King Jr
  8. The true measure of a man is not how he behaves in moments of comfort and convenience but how he stands at times of controversy and challenges. ~Martin Luther King Jr
  9. Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter. ~Martin Luther King Jr
  10. Every man must decide whether he will walk in the light of creative altruism or in the darkness of destructive selfishness. ~Martin Luther King Jr
  11. Freedom is never voluntarily given by the oppressor; it must be demanded by the oppressed. ~Martin Luther King Jr
  12. That old law about ‘an eye for an eye’ leaves everybody blind. The time is always right to do the right thing. ~Martin Luther King Jr
  13. One has a moral responsibility to disobey unjust laws. ~Martin Luther King Jr
  14. There is nothing more majestic than the determined courage of individuals willing to suffer and sacrifice for their freedom and dignity. ~Martin Luther King Jr
  15. I came to the conclusion that there is an existential moment in your life when you must decide to speak for yourself; nobody else can speak for you. ~Martin Luther King Jr

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21 thought-provoking quotes about happiness

Quotes about happinessYou’ll be as happy as you choose to be.

Yes, life’s challenging. Yes, life’s full of frustrations and disappointments. Yes, people do drive you nuts occasionally.

No one’s life is perfect, despite any outward signs to the contrary.

And it is a fact that everyone has problems.

Personal happiness depends on how we choose to look at life. It’s that simple. Happiness is not a destination it’s a state of being.

So if you’re not currently in that state, here are 21 thought-provoking quotes about happiness to help you.

You can let life’s challenges make you feel miserable or you can refuse to let anything get you down.

Focus on the good things in your life, however few and small they may be.

Just say to yourself, I’m going to be happy and nothing is going to stop me.

You will find that being happy isn’t as hard as it might appear to be.

Enjoy these 21 thought-provoking quotes about happiness and I hope they help to increase your sense of personal happiness and make your life much more fulfilling:-

Quotes about happinessQuotes about happiness:

  1. Be happy for this moment. This moment is your life. ~Omar Khayyam
  2. No medicine cures what happiness cannot. ~Gabriel García Márquez
  3. One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory. ~Rita Mae Brown
  4. Whoever is happy will make others happy. ~Anne Frank
  5. We forge the chains we wear in life. ~Charles Dickens
  6. Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know. ~Ernest Hemingway
  7. People don’t notice whether it’s winter or summer when they’re happy. ~Anton Chekhov
  8. The most important thing is to enjoy your life, to be happy, it’s all that matters. Audrey Hepburn
  9. Indeed, man wishes to be happy even when he so lives as to make happiness impossible. ~St Augustine
  10. It is not how much we have but how much we enjoy that makes happiness. ~Charles Spurgeon
  11. The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance, the wise grows it under his feet. ~James Oppenheim
  12. Happiness lies in the joy of achievement and the thrill of creative effort. ~Franklin D. Roosevelt
  13. Folks are usually about as happy as they make their minds up to be. ~Abraham Lincoln
  14. Now and then it’s good to pause in our pursuit of happiness and just be happy. ~Robert Brault 
  15. I must learn to be content with being happier than I deserve. ~Jane Austen
  16. If you aren’t grateful for what you already have, what makes you think you would be happy with more. ~Roy T. Bennett 
  17. Who is the happier man, he who has braved the storm of life and lived or he who has stayed securely on shore and merely existed? ~Hunter S. Thompson
  18. If you want to be happy, set a goal that commands your thoughts, liberates your energy and inspires your hopes. ~Andrew Carnegie
  19. For every minute you are angry you lose sixty seconds of happiness. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson 
  20. You will never be happy if you continue to search for what happiness consists of. You will never live if you are looking for the meaning of life. ~Albert Camus
  21. Three grand essentials to happiness in this life are something to do, something to love and something to hope for. ~Joseph Addison

Quotes about happinessPolite request:

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5 inspirational quotes on things that really matter

Inspirational quotes on things that really matterIf a man is called to be a street sweeper, he should sweep even as Michelangelo painted or Beethoven composed music or Shakespeare wrote poetry. He should sweep streets so well that all the hosts of heaven and earth will pause to say, here lived a great street sweeper who did his job well. ~Martin Luther King

The man who does not work for the love of work but only for money is neither likely to make money nor find much fun in life. ~Charles M. Schwab

Happiness is not so much in having as sharing. We make a living by what we get but we make a life by what we give. ~Norman MacEwan

If life be short, then moderate your worldly cares and projects. Do not cumber yourselves with too much provision for a short voyage. ~Author Unknown

The person who tries to live alone will not succeed as a human being. His heart withers if it does not answer another heart. His mind shrinks away if he hears only the echoes of his own thoughts and finds no other inspiration. ~Pearl S. Buck

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5 powerful quotes to propel you down the road to success

Looking for inspiration dear reader? You won’t be alone if you are. We all need something to fire a spark within us occasionally but where to start?

Quotes from successful people are always a good place to start.

It is always worth listening to people who’ve achieved real success.

If they’ve done it successfully, whatever it is, then we copy their approach. And if we copy their approach then there’s a good chance we can achieve success too. 

So here are 5 powerful quotes from some very successful people. I hope they provide a spark to propel you down the road to success.

Powerful quotes to propel you down the road to success:

Here’s to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They’re not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can’t do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do. ~Steve Jobs

Every great dream begins with a dreamer. Always remember, you have within you the strength, the patience, and the passion to reach for the stars to change the world. ~Harriet Tubman

Take up one idea. Make that one idea your life – think of it, dream of it, live on that idea. Let the brain, muscles, nerves, every part of your body, be full of that idea, and just leave every other idea alone. This is the way to success. ~Swami Vivekananda

If you don’t design your own life plan, chances are you’ll fall into someone else’s plan. And guess what they have planned for you? Not much. ~Jim Rohn

You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something – your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life. ~Steve Jobs

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5 philosophical quotes about getting old

Philosophical quotes about getting oldMost people worry themselves silly when they think about getting old. However let’s face it, getting old is better than the alternative.

Yes, as we get older we get more aches and pains and we slow down a little. That’s natural. However for me the idea of getting old is really just a state of mind.

And what do I mean by that statement?

Well we’re all getting older every minute of every day but do we have to get old? I think it’s all down to our personal philosophy.

By that I mean, it’s all down to how we look at things. As long as we can retain an enthusiasm for life and embrace all things new then we’re not old at all. Older yes, but not old.

Old is when you’ve had enough of life and you’re ready to embrace the Grim Reaper.

And I hope for you dear reader that will be a long, long way off.

In the meantime, here are 5 philosophical quotes about getting old to help you put it all into perspective.

Philosophical quotes about getting oldPhilosophical quotes about getting old:

Anyone who stops learning is old, whether twenty or eighty. Anyone who keeps learning stays young. The greatest thing in life is to keep your mind young. ~Henry Ford

We don’t stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing. ~George Bernard Shaw

Middle age is when you’re sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn’t for you. ~Ogden Nash

The old believe everything: the middle-aged suspect everything: the young know everything. ~Oscar Wilde

I am not sure exactly what heaven will be like, but I know that when we die and it comes time for God to judge us, he will not ask, ‘How many good things have you done in your life?’ rather he will ask, ‘How much love did you put into what you did?’ ~Mother Teresa

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21 thought-provoking quotes about friendship

Quotes about friendshipFriendship is a relationship of equals.

Friends are people with whom we have things in common. They are people whose company we enjoy. They are people whom, if they called us at 3am because they were in trouble , we’d go out of our way to help them.

In short; they are people who really matter to us.

If you have one true friend, a real pal, then you are lucky. If you have two, then you are rich indeed.

Don’t make the mistake of assuming you have lots of friends.

Whilst you may be on good terms with lots of people, how many would be there shoulder-to-shoulder with you if you were in serious trouble?

Real friends will be there for you no matter what. Everyone else in your life are just people you know with varying degrees of familiarity.

Real friendship is a truly precious gift. So appreciate your real friends and let them know how much they mean to you.

Here are 21 thought-provoking quotes about friendship, to make you think and to remind you that having friends is really what makes life bearable.

Quotes about friendshipWe are social animals and we need other people. And the best people are the people we call friends. They are the ones with whom we choose to spend our time.

Quotes about friendship:

  1. You cannot buy with gold the old associations. ~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
  2. Wishing to be friends is quick work but friendship is a slow ripening fruit. ~Aristotle
  3. Friendship is the only cement that will ever hold the world together. ~Woodrow Wilson
  4. If you wanna find out who’s a true friend, screw up or go through a challenging time then see who sticks around. ~Karen Salmonsohn
  5. Friendship is the hardest thing in the world to explain. It’s not something you learn in school. But if you haven’t learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven’t learned anything. ~Muhammad Ali
  6. True friendship comes when the silence between two people is comfortable. ~David Tyson Gentry
  7. Friendship is always a sweet responsibility, never an opportunity. ~Khalil Gibran
  8. It’s the friends you can call up at 4.00 am that matter. ~Marlene Dietrich
  9. Friendship consists in forgetting what one gives and remembering what one receives. ~Alexander Dumas
  10. Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down. ~Oprah Winfrey
  11. The language of friendship is not words but meanings. ~Henry David Thoreau
  12. I value the friend who for me finds time on his calendar but I cherish the friend who for me does not consult his calendar. ~Robert Breault
  13. Friendship is like money, easier made than kept. ~Samuel Butler
  14. A friend is someone who knows all about you and still loves you. ~Elbert Hubbard
  15. Let us be grateful to people who make us happy, they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom. ~Marcel Proust
  16. Quotes about friendshipFriends are the family you choose. ~Jess C. Scott
  17. Don’t walk behind me; I may not lead. Don’t walk in front of me; I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend. ~Albert Camus
  18. Be slow to fall into friendship; but when thou art in, continue firm and constant. ~Socrates
  19. A friend who understands your tears is much more valuable than a lot of friends who only know your smile. ~Author Unknown
  20. Friendship is delicate as a glass, once broken it can be fixed but there will always be cracks. ~ WaqarWaqar Ahmed
  21. We cannot tell the precise moment when friendship is formed. As in filling a vessel drop by drop, there is at last a drop which makes it run over; so in a series of kindnesses there is at last one which makes the heart run over. ~Ray Bradbury

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© Roy J Sutton and Mann Island Media Limited 2018. All Rights Reserved.

5 truly inspirational quotes

Truly Inspirational QuotesWe can all use a little inspiration occasionally, I’m sure you’ll agree dear reader. So here are what I beleive to be 5 truly inspirational quotes.

Truly Inspirational Quotes:

Before you speak ask yourself if what you are going to say is true, is kind, is necessary, is helpful. If the answer is no, maybe what you are about to say should be left unsaid. ~Bernard Meltzer

Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired, and success achieved. ~Helen Keller

In a president, character is everything. A president doesn’t have to be brilliant. He doesn’t have to be clever; you can hire clever. You can hire pragmatic, and you can buy and bring in policy wonks. But you can’t buy courage and decency. You can’t rent a strong moral sense. A president must bring those things with him. He needs to have, in that much maligned word, but a good one nonetheless, a vision of the future he wishes to create. But a vision is worth little if a president doesn’t have the character – the courage and heart – to see it through.  ~Peggy Noonan

If you have made mistakes, even serious ones, there is always another chance for you. What we call failure is not the falling down, but the staying down. ~Mary Pickford

Have patience with all things, but chiefly have patience with yourself. Do not lose courage in considering your own imperfections, but instantly set about remedying them and every day begin the task anew. ~Saint Francis de Sales

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15 Quotes by Maya Angelou

Quotes by Maya AngelouIf you’re unfamiliar with the late Maya Angelou, she was an American poet, writer and civil rights activist.

She’s published numerous autobiographies, books of essays, books of poetry and was credited with a list of plays, movies and television shows spanning over 50 years.

And for me she was an inspiring thinker and I admire her work.

So here are 15 quotes by Maya Angelou to illustrate why I think she was an inspiration to us all.

Quotes by Maya Angelou:

  1. Nothing will work unless you do. ~Maya Angelou
  2. All great achievements require time. ~Maya Angelou
  3. My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style. ~Maya Angelou
  4. Whatever you want to do, if you want to be great at it, you have to love it and be able to make sacrifices for it. ~Maya Angelou
  5. We may encounter many defeats but we must not be defeated. ~Maya Angelou
  6. If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude. ~Maya Angelou
  7. If you have only one smile in you give it to the people you love. ~Maya Angelou
  8. When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time. ~Maya Angelou
  9. I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. ~Maya Angelou
  10. A wise woman wishes to be no one’s enemy; a wise woman refuses to be anyone’s victim. ~Maya Angelou
  11. Quotes by Maya AngelouYou may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them. ~Maya Angelou
  12. I learned a long time ago the wisest thing I can do is be on my own side, be an advocate for myself and others like me. ~Maya Angelou
  13. Words mean more than what is set down on paper. It takes the human voice to infuse them with deeper meaning. ~Maya Angelou
  14. I’m convinced of this: Good done anywhere is good done everywhere. For a change, start by speaking to people rather than walking by them like they’re stones that don’t matter. As long as you’re breathing, it’s never too late to do some good. ~Maya Angelou
  15. The ache for home lives in all of us, the safe place where we can go as we are and not be questioned. ~Maya Angelou

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