3 hilariously funny jokes that will definitely tickle you silly


1. Car trouble:

Jane was driving along the Interstate 5 on her way to San Diego when her old car suddenly died on her. Naturally she called out a local mechanic to help her.

The mechanic arrived and said, “Howdy mam, what seems to be the problem?

Well”, said Jane, “I was just driving along when suddenly I lost all power and the car came to a complete standstill.”

Well let me just take a look for you mam”, said the mechanic.

At which he lifts the hood and gives the engine a cursory glance before whacking something very hard with a hammer.

Try it now mam”, said the mechanic.

To Jane’s amazement, when she turned the key, the car burst into life again.

That’s incredible!” said Jane. “You’ve been here for less than 30 seconds and you’ve already got it going again. I’m very grateful. Thank you.

All part of the service mam!” the mechanic responded, before adding, “That’ll be $250.”

Jane couldn’t quite believe what she was hearing. “How much?” she said. “How can it be $250 when all you did was hit something with a hammer?

Well mam”, said the mechanic, “I can produce an itemised bill if you like.

Yes please”, said Jane, “you do that! It’ll make interesting reading.”

So the mechanic started tapping something into an iPad and then he printed it out on a printer in his truck. He then handed Jane the bill. It read:

 

2. The new bus driver:

The new bus driver pulled his bus up at the bus stop and on climbed a giant of a man who said to the driver, “Big John don’t pay!” before walking off and taking his seat.

Well Big John was aptly named, he really was a monster of a man and the driver was small and skinny, so he figured that a confrontation with Big John may not end well. Not for him anyway. So he let it go.

The next day the same thing happened. The bus stopped, Big John got on, and once again he told the driver, “Big John don’t pay!” before going straight to his seat.

Again the new driver was reluctant to challenge him because of his size.

Well this became a daily occurrence and increasingly the new bus driver began to resent being afraid of Big John.

So he decided to sign up for a body building class at his local gym. He figured that if he was more muscular he’d be equipped to challenge Big John and force him to pay the fare. This became an obsession with him and he worked hard on it.

Before long the bus driver had rippling muscles where once there had only been skin and bone. And as his physical appearance became more impressive, the driver felt confident and ready to confront Big John the next time he got on his bus.

Sure enough, at the usual stop, on to the bus stepped Big John, with his usual declaration, “Big John don’t pay!”

Now just hold it there fella!” said the driver, ready and waiting for a confrontation. “And just why don’t Big John pay?

Well the situation was tense momentarily as Big John reached into his pocket and the driver began to wonder whether he’d done the right thing after all.

Then Big John smiled as he withdrew his hand from his pocket and said, “Because I’ve got this bus pass!

3. Native American Chief:

Bill was studying for a Masters Degree in American Studies at the University of London. He loved American culture, so naturally he was a regular traveller to the USA. In particular he liked getting to know the real America beyond the obvious tourist destinations.

On one trip he was staying in a hotel in Cheyenne, Wyoming when he saw an old Native American chief in full native dress sitting in the lobby.

Wow, who’s that?” Bill asked the desk clerk.

Oh, that’s Chief Elephant’s Memory,” the clerk responded.

Why is he called Chief Elephant’s Memory?” asked Bill.

Because he’s 93 and he still has the most amazing memory. He never forgets anything,” said the clerk. “You might not believe this but he can actually remember every single detail of his life with immediate recall.”

Really?” Bill said, intrigued by what he was being told.

So Bill walked up to the Chief and said, “Hi there, I hope you don’t mind but I’ve heard you have the most amazing memory. They say you can remember every detail of your life. Can you tell me what you had for breakfast on your eighteenth birthday?

Eggs”, replied the Chief quietly.

Bill was amazed with this response but as he walked away the desk clerk called him over and said, “Hey buddy, when you speak to one of our Native Americans you don’t say ‘Hi there’, it’s common courtesy to address them by saying, ‘How!’.

Bill thanked the clerk for putting him right and promised he’d remember that next time.

One year later Bill’s back in Cheyenne again. He’s in the same hotel when he spots the same old Native American chief sitting in the lobby.

Remembering the desk clerk’s advice from his previous visit he walks up to the Chief and says, “How!

Sunny-side up”, the Chief responded.

Polite request:

So did these hilariously funny jokes prove to be as hilariously funny as you’d hoped dear reader?

Perhaps you feel that you could still use a good laugh?

If so. then click on the links below. You’ll find plenty of smiles to amuse you.

And if you did enjoy what you’ve read then please share it all with your friends on social media. When you share, everyone wins.

It’s always a good idea to pass on the smiles.

Other articles you’ll find amusing:

© Roy J Sutton and Mann Island Media Limited 2018. All Rights Reserved.


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