21 Funny One Liners

Earlier in the week I shared with you some thought-provoking one-liners which proved very popular with readers.

Today I am sharing with you some funny one liners. I hope at least one or two of these make you smile. Certainly they made me smile. I hope they all brighten your day.

  1. Wear short sleeves! Support the right to bare arms!
  2. How come we never see the headline, “Psychic Wins Lottery”?
  3. 42.7 per cent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
  4. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
  5. Borrow money from a pessimist, they don’t expect it back.
  6. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
  7. Don’t drink and drive. You might hit a bump and spill your drink.
  8. Nostalgia: How long’s that been around?
  9. Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.
  10. Get a new car for your spouse; it’ll be a great trade!
  11. If at first, you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.
  12. It is as bad as you think, and they are out to get you
  13. Some drink at the fountain of knowledge. Others just gargle.
  14. Support bacteria, they’re the only culture some people have.
  15. The more you complain, the longer God makes you live.
  16. There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count and those who can’t.
  17. What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
  18. What is a free gift? Aren’t all gifts free?
  19. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
  20. Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.
  21. The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.

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© Roy J Sutton and Mann Island Media Limited 2017. All Rights Reserved.

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